The Hunchback of Adventure Bay

Caught or Not

(Ryder, trying to keep things festive, jumps in.)

Ryder: Ladies and gentlemen, don't panic. We asked for the ugliest face in Paris, and here he is! Tracker, the hunchback of The Lookout!

(Upon hearing Ryder, the crowd once again grows festive,
and Ryder crowns Tracker the King of Fools.)

Crowd: ONCE A YEAR, WE THROW A PARTY HERE IN TOWN

Ryder: HAIL TO THE KING!

Crowd: ONCE A YEAR, WE TURN ALL PARIS UPSIDE DOWN

CRyder: OH WHAT A KING!

Crowd: ONCE A YEAR THE UGLIEST WILL WEAR A CROWN

Ryder: GIRLS, GIVE A KISS

Crowd: ONCE A YEAR ON TOPSY TURVY DAY

Ryder: WE'VE NEVER HAD A KING LIKE THIS

All: AND IT'S THE DAY WE DO THE THINGS THAT WE DEPLORE
ON THE OTHER THREE-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY-FOUR
ONCE A YEAR WE LOVE TO DROP IN
WHERE THE BEER IS NEVER STOPPIN'
FOR THE CHANCE TO POP SOME POPINJAY
AND PICK A KING WHO'LL PUT THE TOP
IN TOPSY...TURVY...DAY (TOPSY TURVY)
(MAD AND CRAZY, UPSY-DAISY TOPSY TURVY DAY!)

(From above, the Gargoyles whoop and cheer, while down on the ground,
the crowd chants "Trac-ker" To the side, Guards 1 and 2 are watching.)

Guard 2: You think he's ugly now? Watch this!

(He throws a tomato at Tracker, hitting him square in the face. The crowd quickly goes quiet.)

Guard 2: Now that's ugly!

Guard 3: (Mockingly) Hail to the king!

(He throws another tomato. Soon, Tracker is being pelted with produce of all kinds. Shouts come from all directions. Tracker is soon lassoed and tied down on a rotating platform. He is spun around, as onlookers continue their torment. He sees Humdinger watching and shouts for help.)

Tracker: Master! Master, please! Help me!

(Chase has seen enough.)

Chase: Sir, request permission to stop this cruelty.

Humdinger: In just a moment, Captain. A lesson needs to be learned here.

(As soon as he's said this, the crowd gasps and goes silent. Chase and Humdinger look up to the stage and see Skye ascending the steps. She kneels next to Tracker.)

Skye: Don't be afraid. I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Humdinger: You! Gypsy girl! Get down at once!

Skye: Yes, your honour. Just as soon as I free this poor creature.

Humdinger: I forbid it!

(She whips out a knife and cuts the ropes holding Tracker.)

Humdinger: How dare you defy me!

Skye: You mistreat this poor boy the same way you mistreat my people. You speak of justice, yet you are cruel to those most in need of your help.

Humdinger: Silence!

Skye: Justice!

Humdinger: Mark my words, gypsy. You will pay for this insolence.

Skye: Then it appears we've crowned the wrong fool. The only fool I see is you!

Humdinger: Captain Chase! Arrest her.

(Chase motions for his guards to move in and arrest Skye. They surround the stage.)

Skye: Now, let's see.
(Counting the guards)
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
ten of you, and one of me. What's a poor girl to do?

(She begins to cry, then disappears in an explosion of smoke.)

Humdinger: Witchcraft!

(From another location)

Skye: Oh, boys! Over here!

(She leads the guards on a wild chase. At one point, she knocks a large cage containing an old prisoner to the ground. It goes rolling away, until it comes to a stop and the lock breaks open. He steps out.)

Old Prisoner: I'm free, I'm free!

(He trips and falls into the stockade, which closes and locks.)

Old Prisoner: Dang it.
(Meanwhile, Skye continues to evade the guards. At one point, she and Callie jump on top of the crowd, which carries them away to safety. Two guards attempt the same move, and the crowd quickly moves away. She grabs a helmet from one of the guards, and throws it like a frisbee. It hits three guards and knocks them out, before almost chopping Chases' head off.)

Chase: What a woman!

(Two guards on horseback are chasing Skye. As she leaps over Humdinger's stand, someone throws the guards a staff. Each holding onto an end, the horizontal staff slices through Humdinger's stand, sending him diving for cover. Skye ascends to the top of a stand, then promptly disappears.)

Humdinger: (To Chase)
Find her, Captain! I want her alive!

Chase: Yes, sir. Seal off the area, men. Find the gypsy girl, and do not harm her!

(Humdinger has ridden over to Tracker. He hangs his head low.)

Tracker: (Whispering) I'm sorry, master. I will never disobey you again.

(He moves to the entrance to the cathedral as the rain begins to fall. He goes in, then slowly closes the door to his freedom.)