Do you even know I'm alive?....

•1 Supermodel...

Well hi this is the Diary Of Sza, aka Solana.... Umm I'm new to this, my therapist said this would be good for me so why not.
I get up, get dressed and go to school, aka the hello hole 🙄.

I dress comfortably but I get a lot of guys tryna come at me because my version of comfort is leggings-or-jeans and a crop top with a jacket and some sneaks.
I get in my car and drive... sometimes I just wanna drive off a bridge.
All I want is love.
This guy I've wanted since 5th Grade, well want.
He has failed to notice me.
I could be your supermodel.
For some reason he'd rather choose Daniya.

Everyone says we look alike except she's the hot version of me. I'm tired of being labeled.
But this guy tho... he's so .... sexy, fine, chocolate, baby daddy-is-
Teacher : SOLANA ROWE, if that's a note I promi-
Me: It's not a note.
Teacher: Then what is it?
Me: It's my diary since you wanna be nosey.
Teacher: Since I'm nosey, How bout I read it to the class.
Me: I wish you would touch this book.
He grabbed it and started reading.
Teacher: Well-
I snatched it from him rudely.
Me: MIND YOU BUSINESS! Don't you have a class to teach.
Teacher: And don't you have a crush to look good for.
She said looking directly at the guy I like.
I look back at him and he's looking at me. I grab my stuff and walk out of class.
I get in my car and for some reason someone's smoking beside mine.
Me: Hey Mr. KillMyLungs can you please excuse yourself so I can leave this hell hole.
?: Not unless you get to know me.
Me: What?
?: Names X, don't mean to be an asshole. I just like joking aroun- are you about to cry?
Me: I just wanna be left alone please.
X: Are you sure you don't need someone to talk to? I got some weed we can smoke if that can help you vent.
Me: Fuck it, why not. Hop in.
~
We're driving.
X: Where the fuck are we going? It's busy as fuck in this highway and if we're going to the beach than it's gonna get worse.
Me: Look I have a secret vent area I go to when I need it, it so happens to be near the beach.
X: Where is it?
Me: At the end where the strip ends and it's this weird dark pond-ish type area.
X: I know where were going. I have a short cut.
We swap seats and he's driving.
Me: Are you sure we have the same place?
X: Just trust me, as a matter a fact... vent right now. It won't be long and I don't judge.
Me: Fine... so I'm just tired of life. I'm trapped in a fake ass school with a bunch of disappointments and all I want is this one guy. He's so fine, he's daddy, he's chocolate, he's funny, and he's just all I want. And it's been like that since 5th Grade.
X: What's his name?
Me: Stoke. Or ski.
X: That's my bestfriend.
Me: What!? I didn't even know you went to our scho- I'm such a FUCKING DUMB ASS.
X: Relax, one secret wouldn't hurt him. Plus he already has a girl so it's not like- nevermind.
Me: Yea, and I know. But why her?
X: What you mean? She's bad.
Me: She's a hoe.
X: Prove it.
I pulled up a vid of her fingering herself, a vid of he twerking on several different guys at one party and a vid of her when she made out with some random guy.
Me: Is that enough.
X: Damn, But we all have a little past.
Me: Not only is she a hoe, but she's manipulative.
X: She is.
Me: He doesn't need her, he needs me.
X: But he wants her.
Me: Well he doesn't get everything me wants. I haven't gotten anything I want and all I want is him.