He knew that something changed between the two of them. Felt it with every touch and every hug. If he could he wouldn't let him go, keep him close at all time. But he knew that wasn't possible. He knew there was a invisible line which no one has dared to cross yet. Even if they were close and the clear draw seems to fade away. Every second of togetherness takes away another bit.
Still Ant believes he's just imagining all of this. He just longs for that proximity to his friend so much that his mind is playing tricks on him. What else could it be? If it wasn't his best friend, or whatever you could call that relation between the two of them, wouldn't be sitting here with two blondes, flirting like there's no tomorrow.
Of course that was part of being famous and adored by many, but this? This sight makes his head ache. But what was even worse, it hurt him.
What's going through Dec's mind?
Not long ago they were in each others arms, Dec looking at him and making his heart beat faster. It couldn't have been his imagination only. Impossible. Ant still felt the prickling on his skin where Dec touched him. A feeling that only slowly went away and made place for a feeling of sickness. The memory of soft lips on his skin seemed so far back already.
He wanted it back so badly though. Wanted to hold on to it.
Once again his eyes wandered over to his best friend. Could just see how Dec pressed a kiss on one of those girl's forehead. That was just too much.
Ant turned away from that sight. He just couldn't stand it in that moment. It didn't help either that the girls fancied him as well. It just wasn't what he wanted. Not what he needed.
"Hey."
"Hey." Ant tried to avoid looking into Ali's face. He rather focussed on his fingers playing with his shirt.
"Stop it, Ant." He heard the soft voice of his friend and manager.
"Hmm?" Ant was a bit confused about what she meant.
"It's not the shirt's fault. Do you want to talk?"
Did he? Yes. But not with Ali. No matter how much he likes he in this moment she wasn't the right person. Dec and him needed to have a much-needed talk. Needed to clear up what seemed to be looming between them for quite some time now. Ant just never found the courage to.
"No, it's fine. I'm just tired. Can you tell Declan that I already left? I don't want to..." He pointed over to the three people without looking that way.
"That's alright. I'll tell him. And you're sure everything's fine?"
"Yes, course." Were his last words before he left.
His way led him to the wardrobe. His jacket and his bag were still there. Just when he put on his jacket and wanted to go, he got stopped.
"Ant." This time the voice made him cringe. "Wait a minute."
"I'm tired Dec." He answered slightly irritated.
"Doesn't take long." Dec's hand found his way to his shoulder and made him cringe again.
"Everything okay?"
"Why is everyone asking me this today?"
"Maybe because you look like you're not alright?"
"Hmm..."
"What's up Ant?"
He looked up and got lost in those incredibly blue eyes for a moment. Now or never he thought. He just had to tell Declan.
"I..." He saw Dec with those two girls in front of his eye again. He shook his head to make those hurtful pictures disappear. "I'm fine. Was just a long day. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Ant..."
"It's okay Dec." He pulled his friend close for a moment. "Just look out for yourself."
With that he was gone. Didn't want to risk another look into those eyes. Afraid of the feelings he might find in them but mainly afraid that Dec might read his feelings. Particularly the jealousy.
