My Own Purgatory(NatePat)

Chapter 5: Friendly Mathematics

Hiding in shadows
Can you fight your demons?
Can can you face yourself?
-Drowning

Nate's POV

Well... this has started strong, huh? First day at a new school, and I was already beaten up. This time, of course it started out even stronger than that normality. I also spent the first two weeks in the hospital from a suicide attempt. I mean, how could this year get any better, right? Not to mention the weekly required therapy
sessions I now have to attend.

Any attempt at blending in and not standing out, shattered. What are you talking about? Being normal disappeared with mom went into labor. Im a freak.

Mom drove me to school today. She said she doesn't want another bullying incident, but really, she cant trust me. I don't guess I blame her.

My schedule says that my first period is math. How can anyone do math that early in the morning? Oh well.

Walking down the crowded hallways, I find locker 32. The whispers and stares are almost intolerable. It makes me want to scream, but I have to seem... normal, sane. Is that even possible? Finally, I have my textbook. I then find Mr. McLaughlin's classroom, and walk in.

I notice there are already a few people in there, so, keeping my eyes on the floor. I choose the seat in the back corner and lay my head down, hoping no one will notice me. Hoping I wont stand out and be bullied for it. Hoping the teacher will let me sit in the back, without being introduced. No such luck.

As kids started to file in, I could hear the hushed voices, the laughter, I could feel the gawking stares. All for the freak. And then I feel someone's presence in the seat beside me. The only seat near me anyone dares occupy. I feel claustrophobic, as if im surrounded by the close walls of hatred and annoyance radiating off of everyone in the classroom. I don't look up, though, even when the tardy bell rings.

After almost a minute, I hear Mr. McLaughlin's voice, loud and clear, "Nathan? Would you like to introduce yourself?"
"You just did." I state simply.
"Yes, well, I'd like you to come to the front of the classroom and tell us something about yourself."

Grudgingly, I walk through the aisle, ignoring the whispers and watching the progress my feet made. I was determined I would not give them the satisfaction of seeing any kind of emotion, any kind of weakness, come from me

"My name is Nathan Smith," I start.
"I like music, I play piano and guitar, and I was the same student who attempted suicide in the bathroom about two and a half weeks ago. That's all."

This time, on my way back to my seat, I notice that the boy in the seat beside mine is

Matthew.

My mood brightens for a few seconds, when I realize

he probably thinks I'm a freak.

My small smile fades, but only for a second, because then he smiles at me, melting all my worries away. Maybe he doesn't hate me.

As the teacher starts class, though, I am completely lost. I really try, but I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. I grow really frustrated. Why can't I get simple geometry? (I know geometry isn't actually all that simple. Believe me, I know.)

Glancing over at Matt, I see he's already finished his work and is reading "The Silver Eyes." This irks me even more. How can he already be done?!

"Matthew Patrick?" I hear Mr. McLaughlin say suddenly. Matt's only answer was a glance from his book.
The teacher seemed not to be surprised. "Why don't you help Nathan with his work? He's been out awhile and may need your help."

I stay silent, waiting for Matthew's response. I didn't have to wait long.
"Of course," was all he said as he pulled his desk over to mine.

Great, now I'm the stupid emo fag...

"Hi Nathan. How ar-"
"Nate." I cut him off.
"Oh yeah.. Well Nate, what don't you understand?"
"None of it."
"Oh... well I guess we've got our work cut out for us.

As class went on, my understanding of angles, complementary and supplementary, was drastically increased. I'd never of thought that I'd be able to get something so fast, but Matt proved me wrong. He's a great teacher, though very unconventional. He explains things through video game terms  somehow making a lesson quite interesting.

I expected Matt to be behind on his work, as well, but he wasn't. Apparently he's really smart and is probably the most academically successful student here.

He ended up helping me all throughout the day. The teachers seemed to think that was for the best. And it was enjoyable.

And maybe...

...just maybe.. I'll have a friend here? Possibly my first best friend? Someone to talk to?

No. Don't be stupid.