Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Chapter 16: Moony

[AN: Contains slightly graphic descriptions of full moon Change and brief thoughts of death]

It was an odd sensation, after a few days of drinking the Wolfsbane potion in succession; he hadn't realized how closely the wolf usually lurked under the surface the week before the Change. He was slower to irritate, now, and it was far easier to actually feel as calm as he projected; he was able to be unerringly polite to Severus whenever he dropped it off. Unfortunately, it didn't do much for the physical symptoms of the pain and nausea and general decline of health, as he would need to transform whether he kept his mind or not. And now that the time was drawing nearer, he was growing inexplicably nervous.

For the first time, he would be himself while being not himself. He usually remembered most, if not all, the memories of the night before when he transformed back, but now there would be no blank spots and no cut off point; it would just be...him. As the wolf. This would be the first time he would be even remotely coherent during a full moon since he had run with the rest of the Marauders. Usually, all there was to remember was a chaotic blur of rage and blinding pain, frantically searching for an escape and the ever present need to bite and tear and kill. With them, though...it had been different. It had been almost fun. Because with them, it wasn't a time of fear as it had been through his childhood; fear of discovery, fear of hurting people, fear of the pain. For them, it was a time of adventure and they had treated it as such.

"You're funny when you're Moony, y'know," Sirius had said suddenly one day, when they were all silently working on homework on their respective beds.

"So, that's staying, then. That name. THAT name."

"I mean, it fits, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm Moony, the werewolf who moons people." Remus made a pained face. "I love it."

"Weren't you the one who said we needed anonymity for the map?" James chimed in without looking up from his paper, frowning in concentration.

"Yeah, but I meant NAME names. Like fuckin' Fleamont," Remus deadpanned and James did look up.

"WILL YOU NEVER LET THAT GO?"

"I mean, you were the one who made the mistake of telling us," Sirius pointed out reasonably. "It's US we're talking about."

"Ridiculous middle names aside," Peter said and a strangled noise came from James' corner. "What about the rest of us?"

"So we're REALLY sticking with that?" Remus complained loudly and was met with a chorus of "YES."

"What do you first think of when you think 'dog'?" Peter asked Sirius.

He sauvely ran a hand through his mane of black hair and started confidently, obviously going for something cool, "Pad--" he faltered and lost a bit of steam. "Uh...ffffoot." He visibly cringed.

They stared at him in silence. "Done," announced Remus and turned to the other 2. "What about you?"

"No no nooo, do over!" Sirius wailed.

Remus ignored his plea triumphantly. "Nope! Give a stupid name, get a stupid name."

"That is--that is so unfair. James, Moony is bullying me!"

Remus grinned. "Shut up, PADfoot."

"Ugh!! White Fang!"

"No."

"Death wish!"

"No!"

"Uh, uh, Swift...butt!"