Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Chapter 17: Empty Chairs

[AN: Contains mention of alcohol]

Physically, this month was the fastest he had ever recovered from the Change; there had been no physical injuries, and so all he had to battle was the intense fatigue, his body being stiff and sore, and the mildly flu like symptoms that could follow. He could not say that he was looking forward to the next full moon, but as it's gleaming face was whittled away, night by night, he had to admit that it was far preferable to Change with the Wolfsbane potion. Very disorienting, a quite disturbing, but it felt...freeing. He wasn't a danger, then. As long as he locked himself away, there was no possible way for him to hurt anyone. Thus ended his trips to the Shrieking Shack. He was unsure how he felt about this; it felt far less isolated, but he wouldn't miss the disorientation when waking up. He might miss the memories, though. Just a little.

He picked his classes right back up where he'd left them, students none the wiser. The cooler days found him outside, walking by himself; there were only so many memories that could plague him here. The bite of the wind gave him something else to feel, the smell of the leaves something else to remember. Halloween was approaching. While he had seen the Dementors around, drifting in the distance across the ruffled lake surface, lurking in the shadows of the treeline, none had come so close as to affect him. Some dark part of him almost wished they would. Perhaps that was not such a good thing. Something in him was stirring restlessly that did not fit quite as well with the warm, fire-lit interior of the great stone walls of Hogwarts as it might have. Whether wolf or some buried trickster impulse trying to resurrect itself from his schooldays, he didn't wish to examine. So he roamed.

It was such a day when the grounds were mostly empty and it was chilly enough to leave the tips of noses and fingers red and numb that he spotted the giant form of Hagrid and his dog trudging across the hill, toward the forest. On an impulse, he ambled closer and the huge man called a greeting. "Oi, Lupin!"

He lifted his hand and the corner of his mouth. "Hello, Hagrid. How are you on this fine afternoon?"

The wind spat an extra-hard shove that almost staggered him, as if in spite. "Oh, just off to the vegetable patches to collect more lettuce for the flobberworms," Hagrid answered, looking down at the huge tub in his hands.

"...Ah." Remus wasn't entirely sure what a flobberworm was and yet, could clearly picture one from the unfortunate name alone. "Would you like some help?"

His ruddy face brightened. "O' course! This way!"

As they set off walking, Remus glanced around Hagrid's back at the dog trotting on his other side. "Hello, there."

The boarhound eyed him and growled softly, tail between it's legs, before pressing closer to Hagrid's hip. "Oi!" Hagrid sounded offended on his behalf. "What's got into you? That's rude, that is!" He looked down at Remus, who was now looking straight ahead, flat faced. "Sorry, 'e's not one to do that sort 'o thing."

"It's alright. Dogs don't like me," said, grimly. Wolves are dangerous. "I'm used to it."

Fang's eyes never left him and he never left being glued to Hagrid's side as they knelt amid the enormous heads of lettuce that was bigger than his entire head. After they stripped a few down and added them to the tub, they rose, if a little stiffly, and made their way back across the grounds. The late afternoon sun barely managed to filter through the dense and surly clouds, giving the dark rolling lawn a slightly underwater feeling. Hagrid invited him inside his hut and Remus was surprised to find himself agreeing, despite his recent isolationist bent. The cozy light that flowed from it seemed too lovely to pass up when his hands were growing numb. Inside, it smelled of tea, straw, and baked goods and the heat from the fire seeped into his bones like some sort of broth. The dog immediately leapt upon the massive bed and shoved himself behind the pillow, giving small, intermittent shudders. Remus was careful to not look at him.