Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Chapter 26: Small Kindnesses

The morning the Hogwarts Express brought the thundering hordes back to the school's halls, Remus caught Hagrid stomping dejectedly past the Great Hall in lieu of lunch. Frowning, he picked up his pace to follow and called out, "Hagrid!" The giant man turned at his voice. "I haven't seen you around much, lately; are you alright?"

Hagrid's face was puffy and subdued as he shrugged miserably. "Oh. Lupin. No, I been...." He heaved a sigh. "No, not really. I got news, 'bout a week ago; Beaky's appeal date. It don't look good, not at all."

As they both stopped outside the Hall's huge doors, Remus realized with a sharp pang that he had completely let his own turmoil--with Sirius, the Change, and his subsequent convalescence--eclipse his focus; he had forgotten about the hippogriff's hearing. Before he could even begin to formulate an apology, however, Hagrid seemed to brighten marginally, "Oh! Almos' forgot! Here, the day the staff did their gift exchange was the day I...the day the letter came and...I didn't feel like...." He trailed off. Then, he shook himself, like a shaggy dog shaking off water and started to dig through the countless pockets that spotted his enormous coat.

"Oh, no, Hagrid, you don't have to--" Remus began to protest but the big man was already drawing out a large, squashy brown package fastened with twine. Looking up at him, he tried again, almost pleadingly. "I haven't any presents, I can't possibly--"

"Ah, go on, tha's not the point!" Hagrid shook his head cheerfully and wiggled the package. "Go on!"

Reluctantly, he took the present and squeezed it experimentally, curious despite his growing distress at being possibly the worst Christmas participant in the school. It seemed...soft. "Open it!" Hagrid urged, nearing glee, now, which started to worry Remus; he instantly became very aware of whether the thing in his hands was breathing or not. It smelled vaguely of ferret, which did nothing to assuage his rising alarm. It seemed...inert. Probably. Hopefully.

Apprehensively, he pulled the twine and unfolded the paper to be met with the sight of a mass of scarlet yarn. Instantly feeling more intrigued, he wadded up the wrapping and tucked it under his arm before spreading what seemed to be a massive red sweater, roughly 3 sizes bigger than Remus had ever been in his life, emblazoned with a lopsided yellow lion silhouette. Speechlessly, he draped it over his arm to run a hand slowly down the front. It was soft and plush. "Knit it meself," Hagrid said, pride in his voice. "Had to start over a few times and now that I look at ye," he eyed Remus up and down. "I think I might 'o got the sizing a bit off. I knew I wanted to make you a jumper, I know yer office is cold and ye get chilly--er--now and again. But I remembered you sayin' that you don't have any 'o yer old school gear anymore an' I figured ye might want somethin' to show yer house colors! Maybe at a Quidditch game or...." He trailed off, squinting at him. "Lupin? Ye alrigh'?"

He hadn't moved, staring down at the sweater with his hand on the lion. The oddest feeling was brewing in his chest, slowly taking root and climbing until it squeezed his throat, keeping any words from coming. He felt like laughing and crying at once and he certainly didn't feel like doing that with students beginning to trickle out of the Great hall just yards away from their conversation. It felt like nostalgia and regret and joy and pain and gratitude. It's a sweater, he thought a bit incredulously at himself, but it wasn't just a sweater. It was a gift. It was one of the most thoughtful gifts he had ever received. "Ah..." His voice was tight and rough, and he swallowed. "Yes. Yes, I'm...I'm alright." Finally, he looked up and smiled. "Thank you, Hagrid. This is...amazing. I love it."

Hagrid seemed startled, but blushed a little at his fervent tone. "Oh, I dunno, it was jus' a little somethin' I worked on in the evenin's, y'know...."

"Give me a few days, I'll also have a present for you. And," he raised his voice over Hagrid when the other man began to shake his head and object. "If you need any company or help during Buckbeak's case, please let me know."