Letting go

Chapter 10 : Thick and Thin

Chapter 10 : Thick and Thin

I guess me and Luca have broken up and our friendship probably ruined forever. I don't feel much about this , my muddled brain is unable to concentrate on it.

The doctors said I have schizophrenia. Only a mild case. Just unclear and confused thinking , reduced amount of emotional expression and social engagement. It's kind of confusing all the time now like ... bees , buzzing around your head. The doctors also say that it is possible to somewhat 'cure' schizophrenia. Though they never can completely cure it , they can use therapy and what not to help.

Tim and his family have visited same as my family and Taylor's family. They say the funeral is this Saturday.

It's for Taylor.

I'm not sure why they chose to have it nearly 2 weeks after she died. I asked them this but they just said that it was hard to explain. After that I didn't really pay attention because it wasn't very interesting.

In fact most people are very dull. They just talk and talk and it confuses my brain. My brain is much like a food processor. You can only fill it up so much or else it'll start to have a hard time processing it. If you fill it up too much it can get stuck. Once it gets stuck I will just check out of the conversation.

A few friends have come and visited as well. I didn't really listen to any of them.

****

It's only 2 days before the funeral. They're releasing me today. I have had some therapy and am now slightly less confused and a bit more socially engaged. Though my emotional expression hasn't improved at all.

"Natasha? Your parents are here to bring you home. There are some clothes at the end of your bed , if you need help you can always buzz for a nurse. Once your done you can buzz and I will come here and escort you to your parents. Okay?" the nurse says in a delicate voice.

"Okay" I say as the nurse leaves.

I change into my plain grey T - shirt and light blue jeans. Then I pull on my red converse.

It's heated up very quickly outside , according to the nurse. So there isn't much snow.

I buzz for the nurse and walk down the sterile white hall towards my parents. I think they should make the walls and ground so white. It makes me dizzy and feel like I'm about to throw up. Considering that were in a hospital that's not a very good thing.

After turn left once more I see my parents near the doors.

"Say hello to your parents" says the nurse quietly.

"Hello" I say.

"Ready to go home?" asks my dad.

"Yes" I answer.

So we go home.