I was staring off to space. I can't do this. I don't want to do this to him. But I have to. Because he will suffer more if I don't.
Me and Jimin are here having a picnic at the park. He's making a fool out of himself by doing stupid things.
I smiled at the sight but it vanished by the thought of it being the last time. Then tears rolled down my cheeks but I wiped it quickly with my hands. I don't him want to see me cry.
I stood up from my seat and walked towards him. I jogged a little to get to him faster.
I held his hands and made him look at me. He's sweaty but he's still cute. He's still my sweet little Chimchim.
I'm so sorry Jiminie.
"Why so sad Chaeyoungie? Are you not happy with our date?" his eye smile disappeared when I looked away from him.
"I'm not happy with you anymore Jimin."
I'm sorry for lying to you Jiminie.
"I realized that I don't love you."
I'm so sorry.
"You don't make me happy anymore."
It's for the best.
"I am so ashamed for being with you."
This is a lie.
"Your so stupid to not even realize that I'm just using you."
It's all a lie Jiminie.
"We're over Jimin. Move on." I said and turned my back on him.
He was calling me. I know he's crying. But there's no turning back now. I need to do this for him.
I need to do this because even if I don't want to.... I will still have to leave him.
I have cancer and I'm leaving for Australia for my therapy. I don't know why my parent's want to do this but I know to myself that I'm going to die.
I'm not strong enough to handle all the chemotherapies when I know to myself that I'm at stage four.
So what's the use of being with my Jiminie when I won't be with him forever.
I will write for him.
Even if he won't be able to read it.
Just to tell him how I love him.
Just to explain everything.
Just to tell him I never wanted this....
...But I don't have a choice.
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