A Blessing and a Curse

Chapter 18

   "You have healing powers!"

   Kanan was walking around like he wasn't walking on the edge of life or death an hour ago. It thrilled me and the crew to see him back on his feet.

   We also dropped the prisoners off in a nearby town called, Jhothal. The prisoners had gone and we got some pay for saving them. Evidently, they were slaves of the Empire and brought to the faculty that they call The Spice Mines of Kessel. They soon would of been killed if we didn't arrive and save them.

   Now, we were back on the road, again and everything was going fine. It was good while it lasted until Sabine yelled that fact to the world. I flinched a little as Kanan, Zeb, and Hera watched us from the booth carefully.

   Sabine towered over me as I sat on the couch in her shadow.

   "Well, it's not something I like to show to often," I replied, uncomfortably. Honestly, I'm surprised that I'm still on the RV after almost killing Kanan. I still feel the guilt twist and turn through my very being.

Yet, they still let me stay with answers unknown as to why I could stay.

Even through all of it, this wasn't the kind of conversation I want to get involved with.

   "Then why didn't you just tell us?" She asked, angrily.

   "Why does it matter to you?" I yelled, standing up, "You didn't care about a thing like me since I arrived and all of a sudden you care?"

   "Oh, I would of kicked you out a long time ago but no. I decided to try and trust you, you rat," she replied.

   I paused for a moment then after a while replied. "That's because it is my business. Remember a little conversation like that, Sabine."

   I pointed over at Kanan, adding, "Kanan even hides his so why can't I hide mine?"

   Her teeth clenched together and a small growl came through them. "You at least have a power that does good and many people, including Kanan, can't say that."

   Again, I paused and said, "Wait, you all know Kanan's power besides Hera?" The room went silent after that. Each face was either shocked or worried.

   I turned my gaze back to Sabine, who stared blankly, not sure what to feel or say. "Wow, it really does seem now like no one here trusts me," I said, lowly.

   Then added, "Congratulations Sabine, you were right, I'm an untrustworthy rat."

"Ezra,wait," Kanan said but I didn't listen.

I walked into the bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. They don't trust me. I knew it. I'm just another person taking up space in the RV. Another person to feed and drink.

   A lump formed in my throat as a pain knotted in my chest. Why did I think people would actually see me more than a street rat? Silly mistake and a hopeless dream just like the mythological stories of the almighty cure. One big rumor. One huge lie.

   A knock came from the door.

   "Can I come in?" Kanan's voice asked from the other side of the door. I sniffed and thought. He probably is going to make up another excuse on why he can't tell me anything.

"Why? So you can make up another reason why you can't trust me?" I spat and flinched when my voice cracked.

"No, I just-" I heard him sigh, "There are things that I'm not proud of that this power can and did do."

"You don't think that I feel the same with mine?" I snarled.

"I completely understand," he answered. I calmed down and looked at the floor, swallowing down a sob. He sounded so genuine. So truthful but mostly, hurt. Very hurt at the very thought of his powers. Just like I was.