I'm Not Okay: a Ferard fanfic based on Cancer and I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

Ch. 10: Gerard

Gerard's POV
Gerard's breath caught in his throat. Frankie had smirked playfully and coyly before answering Gerard's question. He had as good as admitted it that he liked Gerard - but now what was he supposed to say?

Very smoothly, Gerard replied, "Mgh?"

"You are quite awkward in these situations, aren't you?" Frankie asked, sounding slightly annoyed but mostly amused. "I bet you've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before."

"Hey!" Gerard protested indignantly. "I have, too. Friends that were girls and friends that were boys."

Frankie rolled his eyes. "Is this the part where you reject me and declare yourself straight despite your shameless flirting? If so, get it over with. I find these things very tedious."

"M-my shameless flirting?" Gerard stammered. "What about you?"

"My flirting is charming." Frankie sniffed. "Yours is quite poor and amateur. Then again, you've never had any experience before, have you, you poor little boy?"
Frankie lifted his chin, a clear challenge.

Gerard stood up and marched over to Frankie in a dignified, injured type of way.

What could be do?

He could tickle him or - ah, yes.

Gerard raised his hand and slapped Frankie's face.

"What the fuck-"

"There," Gerard laughed triumphantly, secretly relishing the astonished glare on Frankie's face. "Was that good enough flirting for you?"

"You little bastard, asshole, that wasn't even flirting-"

But it was okay because Frankie was laughing too, clutching his sides on the bed, laughing too hard to finish his sentence.

Still grinning, Frankie reached up for Gerard. "So, I never got an answer. Are you rejecting me, or not?"

"Why would I reject you? I like you. Like, like-like." Gerard blurted out, then immediately felt incredibly stupid. He felt like an embarrassed 4th grader with a crush, compared to Frankie who was witty and knew the right things to say.

"Good." Said Frankie bluntly. "Because I like-like you too."

"Glad that's settled, then." Gerard wheezed. He was having a particularly difficult time breathing.

Frankie looked at him strangely. "Do you have asthma?" he asked, then shook his head. "Never mind that. Are you going to kiss me, or what?"

Frankie leaned closer. Gerard's mouth went dry. And suddenly, there was a fierce, angry pain in his chest.

"I will not kiss you," he said, snatching himself away from Frankie, turning his back to him and wrapping his arms around his body, like he was trying to keep himself from falling apart. No; that was exactly what he was doing.

"W-why?" Frankie asked, voice cracking and breaking, faltering with uncertainty and hurt Gerard could tell he was trying to hide.

Gerard could almost hear his heart shattering as he slowly turned to Frankie and told him, the words like lead in his mouth,

"Because the hardest part of this is leaving you."

A/n: *cries*