Forever Yours

Chapter 2

[hey guys hope no haters I love writing but I know I'm not good at it. I have written many books but never got the chancre to publish then because I was afraid of what people will think about my stories ): ] xox forever yours. S.S.

I was starring at my bedroom ceiling while I was lying down my mind completely blank. I couldn't figure out my own emotions. I knew I was sad and upset but part of me says I should leave it and not care and I should toughen up but parts of it wanted to cry and kill myself. I have had depression before but I wouldn't tell anyone about it. Henry was the only one who knew and my best friend Shane. I use to cut myself I know it sounds crazy and stupid but I did. I stopped when Henry threatened me to walk out of my life if I ever do it again. I love him so much I'd do anything for him.

I think it's coming back though. I can't stop thinking about cutting myself again the urge to hold a blade on my hands and cut my other arm as I feel the blade near the vain of my arm and the blood dripping down not stopping. A lot would not understand but I guess you have to be one to know one. atleast that's what they say.

I felt my tears dripping on the side of my cheeks. Ugh I barely cry but when I do I never stop. I hated crying it made me feel weak and a cry baby. I searched my bedside table I needed it. no one has to know I mean no one will ever know. I needed to feel the pain on my skin I needed to cut. I couldn't see any blade Henry must've thrown them away secretly since he comes here all the time. I mean I had many hidden all over my room but now I can't find any. I went to the toilet and searched my cupboard there. I didn't see any blade but I did find a miniature mirror. I smashed it on the sink and took the biggest piece which now has a sharp end and walked back to my bed.

I looked at my left arm and I could still see the scars from the last time I cut which was 2 years ago. They were really deep that's why it left a scar. I grabbed the mirror and slide it across my arms horizontally the blood ran out of my skin like water. it felt good feeling the pain. It feels like the weight on my chest was slowly lightening up. I was about to do my second cut when I heard a knock on my balcony door. I quickly grabbed a tissue to cover and to dry my hand and put the broken glass in my bedside table.

"Henry?" I opened the door of my balcony. "what are you doing here."

I knew it was him or shane because they are the only one who can make their way up in my bacony. I don't know how they do it though. He didn't answer my question but he gave me one of his tightest hugs. I hugged him back as tight and I felt like the world stopped for a minute or two. Tears fell of my eyes as he started to kiss my forehead.

"Baby, you know I'm here for you. Always. I even bought you ice cream, chocolates. Farerows I know how much you love these and..... a dozen of roses." he said trying to make me laugh.

He put all the chocolates and  roses on the table and wiped the tears of my eyes. He kissed me and then gave me another hug.

I grabbed a sweater on my wardrobe and put it on so it can cover up my hand. I snuggled next to Henry in my bed and started eating the Ben and Jerry's cookies and cream ice cream. As I told him what happened today all he did was listen. I mean that's all he ever does is listen to what I have to say. Which makes him the best boyfriend ever.

"I feel such an idiot Henry," I cried.

"You're not an idiot you were just standing up for yourself. It was you're future and you had the rights. I believe you can achieve anything if you work hard enough. Look at me I use to dream about holding your hands whenever I saw you at school and you use to date that guy Aiden was it?? and I wanted to kiss you but I never believed in myself that I'm good enough for you.Now I'm here laying with you. In your bed." he chuckled.

I was speechless. I gave him a kiss and put my head back in his chest. He put my favourite song on Give me Love - Ed Sheeran because he knows how  much Ed Sheeran really calms me down.