Danger Zone

Chapter 9: Kylo Ren's Transgression

We rush inside after the long climb to the top of the ladder, wondering what's taking Chewbacca and Han so long to plant the charges. The three of us expected the other two to be just finishing up the final touches and to be starting to head out....but the scene we are presented with is a massive room with a seemingly bottomless pit filling the majority of the space, a lone catwalk running through the middle and a figure standing in front of Han Solo a quarter of the way up the catwalk.

That must be him. That must be Kylo Ren.

My hand finds itself gripping the chilly steel rail like as if it's giving me the support to stand up. The air reverberates the darkness, describing the hate and anger in Kylo Ren's soul. The slowly dying natural light of the sun coming in from outside acts like the desperate but failing attempt to fight such a powerful blackness on the inside that this Force Sensitive Knight of Ren is feeling inside of himself. It doesn't take my senses long to figure out that the 'light' in Kylo's instance is the person treading slowly towards him; his father, a Resistance friend, a famously infamous smuggler, the one and only Han Solo.

"Take off that mask. You don't need it," the smuggler-gone-hero-gone-smuggler-again pleads in a paternal manner.

Immediately my heart begins to get heavy with dread, like as if the Force is telling me what's about to happen, as the response from the Dark Sider curiously questions "What do you think you'll see if I do?"

"The face of my son."

A beat of stillness and silence. My heart starts slowly sinking as Rey gently leans on the railing and Finn shifts his feet a little. All eyes, including the Stormtroopers I sense below, are fixed on the two upon the catwalk like we're hypnotised. A lot of things are happening yet nothing's happening in this eerie second.

Reaching for the sides of his helmet, the Knight of Ren finally obeys his father's wish. My heart pauses its sinking and misses a beat as Ren's face is revealed. My breath fails to escape my throat as my eyes are transfixed by the masculine and sinful face. For a split second, I forget that he's a leader of the First Order, a murderer, a Knight of Ren and a Dark Sider who isn't afraid to show his unquestionable power and malicious cruelty. All bad thoughts of this man disappear from mind before they reboot themselves, reminding me of what we're facing.

"Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish just like his family. So I destroyed him, took his place and became more powerful than he ever was," Kylo speaks, half sounding like he's having troubles talking ill of his past; like a part of him still believes that he is still who he was before he turned to the Dark Side.

Han takes a step forward, grief starting to be known in his calm voice "That's what Snoke wants you to believe, how he wants you to think. But Ben, you were never weak. You were always strong; why Snoke planted those thoughts into your mind and used them to manipulate you. He's using you for your power and once he's finished, he'll destroy you. Search your feelings, son. You know it to be true."

There's a brief pause as Ren's face softens, like as if the struggle inside has grown even more at those words and is starting to become unwinnable on both sides.

"It's too late for me. To save me," the Dark Sider counters, his voice a little lower in volume but full of the heartbreaking agony of his internal conflict.

The father of this conflicted Force Sensitive studies his son's face, taking in every small detail, like as if he knows it'll be the last time he'll look upon his face, as he chooses his next words.

"No it's not, Ben. It's not too late. Leave here with me. Come home to us. We miss you. We have always missed you. You have always been a large part of our lives and you're always welcome with open arms," Solo concludes with more gentleness, his voice barely audible from where Finn, Rey and I are standing.

My hand tightens around the rail a little, sensing something horrible about to happen. Outside, the light is almost fully faded, making the chamber steadily dimmer.

His voice breaking just enough to be noticed, Kylo confides in the same volume of tone, vulnerability starting to show in his voice, "I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain, this agonising pain. I know what I have to do....but I don't know if I have the strength to do it," the two Solos make full eye contact and the older on takes a small step forward as Ren enquires slightly hesitantly "Will you help me?"

Moving to stand half an arms-length from the younger, the older man answers without a second thought and with the most fatherly, tender care "Of course I'll help. Anything you need"

No....

The Knight of Ren pulls his lightsaber from his belt and holds it in front of them both with one hand. Everything inside tenses as Han Solo scans it. The very last glimmer of pure, natural light holds on for one last minute. My breathing hitches a bit, my hand clutching on the steel even more. I can't watch but I can't look away. I know that Kylo Ren, at this moment, is showing his genuine, authentic and un-fake-able emotions of pain and helplessness. I do feel sad and sorry for him; my heart feeling his pain and wanting to help him, to heal his pain. But my senses tell me something sinister.

No, no. Get out of there while you still can. While you....

Han grips the offered weapon near the bottom of the handle where there's space. With the sun completely drained from the sky but still streaking to the core of the planet and still temporarily visible, all is as silent as a tomb. All is forgotten but what's in front, perched above a black hole.

In a single second, almost right after Han Solo takes hold of the lightsaber, the said weapon is twisted and a crackling red blade penetrates through the aged Solo's chest. I feel the impact through the Force; so sudden and heart wrenching that it feels like my heart will burst and I barely hear Rey's distressing cry beside me or Chewie's howl from below. I clutch at my chest, over where my overwhelmed heart sorely pounds, and feel my knees give way just as Kylo Ren pushes the blade of the lightsaber a little further through his father's chest before ripping it out. Han, surprisingly still standing, radiates of shocked surprise but also of love for his child as he reaches his hand to caress Ren's face....one last time.

Kylo Ren murmurs something to his father, something that never reaches Finn, Rey's and my perch, his eyes in particular full of mourn. The two stay still, gazing at each other for the very last time, before the Dark Sider lets go of Han's arm, that I have no knowledge that he was even holding on to, and allowing Han Solo to simply fall in the pit and out of sight....forever....just as soon as the innocent and natural light dies.

I sense empowerment emit from the child of Han Solo and Leia Organa but at the same time there's remorse and regret mixing into it, dampening and soaking the sense of feeling stronger immensely. Beside me, the other female raises her blaster and aims it at the murderer who has just killed his own father who was a dear friend and ally to the Resistance, anger and despair radiating from her. But someone else shoots at him first, leaving a serious injury on his side; making him drop to his knee and grasp the bleeding wound. It's most definitely Han's old Wookie companion, Chewbacca, who made that mark.

Within a moment, explosions start rumbling through the air, shaking and breaking the immediate area. It takes me half a second to realise that the detonations are coming from right below the platform, but I can't move from where I stand. My feet root in place and my eyes glue back onto Ren, watching him in utter horror.

He looks up at the three of us that remain in the area, still clutching his fresh wound and hunching over, with the flames of our sabotage reflecting his returned anger in a fear-provoking yet beautifully poetic manner. His stare has me lured to him yet afraid of him. I have no idea what is making me like this but I know that I have a mission that I need to finish with Finn, Rey and Chewbacca....but for some reason I can't seem to get my body to respond to that need.

Within a split second, I feel someone firmly but friendly tug my bicep to get me to let go of the railing before the hand runs down my arm to my wrist as I get hurriedly tugged along. Once we reach the ladder, the hand lets go of my wrist and I notice it was Rey who had taken hold of my arm. The three of us swiftly climb down the long ladder, Finn allowing us girls to go first, and as soon as all of us land on the solid land below, it's an all-out sprinting race to the forest in search of the Falcon.