Danger Zone

Chapter 11: Back to D'Qar

While Rey co-pilots alongside Chewbacca, I sit beside the medical bed where Finn rests, wrapped in a blanket and huddling against a wall. My cheeks sticky from dried tears and my eyes burning from the crying, I'm drained; physically and emotionally drained. This battle would have to be the worst I have ever been in even though there weren't many run-ins while finding Rey, lowering the shields and planting the explosives. It's being separated from Poe, not being in the air alongside Black Squadron that makes the mission difficult....but it's also the death of Han Solo, the duelling and the dread of awaiting certain Death that lingered so close yet so far that makes this mission a scarring experience.

My mind unexpectedly wanders to Kylo Ren at the thought of the duels, wondering what happened in the duel between him and Rey, if he was still alive when Rey came back to Finn and me. If so, did he get off the planet in time?

Why am I thinking about him? He's not on our side. He murdered his father and almost murdered Finn, Rey and me.

But he's Leia's son, her only child....

....And now her only family besides Luke.

We reach halfway to D'Qar safely, without any interruptions or ambushes. Wanting to stretch my legs, I stand and allow the blanket to collapse from my shoulders before looking at Finn; who's still unconscious. I sigh softly, my heart still burdened with the sadness and confusion within, and scoop the blanket up off the floor. Originally, I plan to put the blanket away but I pause, gazing at it. I peer at Finn, the ex-Stormtrooper who had risked his life to help my brother and now fight with the Resistance against his previous and villainous allegiance.

I stride over to him and place the blanket over him, knowing he most likely needs it. I stand there at his side, reflecting on all the horror and devastation the First Order had caused since they first revealed themselves and wondering how Finn's coping with his personal demons from the First Order. I try to imagine myself in his shoes, if he hadn't betrayed the First Order, and the shoes of all the rest of the Stormtroopers; being taken from blood family at a very young age, being taught to kill from a very young age and living for nothing but killing and dying for power. It's a ghastly feeling to think of such a thing and it causes me to ask myself how Kylo Ren, General Hux, Captain Phasma or anyone, for that matter, could live such a wicked and dark life unquestioningly.

My thoughts are interrupted by Rey walking in, her eyes slowly swapping between me and Finn before fully focusing on me as she stops right in front of me. No word is spoken for a moment as we both dwell on the events of Starkiller Base.

"We're arriving at Base soon," the Force Sensitive scavenger informs me in a soft tone.

I nod before looking back at Finn. Rey lingers still, turning her gaze to the ex-Stormtrooper also. The three of us have been through a lot of the late and, even though I don't know Rey's mysterious past, I know Finn and I both have troubling pasts; no thanks to the grown remnants of the Empire that call themselves the First Order.

Breaking the veil of solemn silence, I look to Rey and remind her with a fatigued tone "You should probably go back to co-piloting. Chewbacca might be needing you."

It's Rey's turn to nod as she acknowledges that she should help Chewie. She stays a couple of seconds longer, still peering at our critically injured friend, before averting her eyes to me for a split second and walking back to the cockpit to retake the co-pilot's seat. Things seem to drag on; the travel back to Base, the empty quietness, even each small breath that passes through me.

The anticipation of getting back to Base seems to be growing yet fading at the same time. The Resistance all know that we'll have to relocate now that our enemies know where we're standing ground and so every second we're spending on travelling back is a second behind the First Order in preparing to evacuate before they attack with fleets. I mentally prepare myself for the planning and executing of clearing out our D'Qar stronghold while suffering the snail-pace of time.