「 blue | takada kenta 」

「 black 」

That evening, SEOL HAEUN barely got any sleep. She kept on tossing and turning, her head filled up with thoughts and worries which made her feel sick to her stomach.

How can Kenta be dead? How can the he be dead?

Tears welled in her eyes at the thought of it, finding out that she's the reason why he's dead. Why did this happen to him? Why did it have to be her fault? Why did he choose to save her?

"I-It's just a joke or a code or something", she mumbled quietly, trying to convince herself that none of it is real. 

How much time does he have left?

Haeun's heart started to break more and more as her pillow became soaked with her tears that never seem to stop. The guilt was eating up the short girl's heart, gnawing her like a dog to a bone to the point where she felt like screaming. 

"Why did he save me?", she sobbed, curling up into a hopeless ball under her blanket. She just wanted to disappear, she didn't want to exist after finding out that the boy she fell in love was going to die because of her.

The next day, Haeun was a mess. She was tired, broken and most of all, guilty. Walking into the campus half awake with red, puffy eyes, she was trapped in a haze as she dragged her feet lifelessly. She wasn't able to focus at all, everyone's voices becoming one, giant blur. It felt like time was slowing down too, just to taunt her about what she did to Kenta. 

"Haeun! Seol Haeun!"

Haeun gritted her teeth as she lowered her head at the voice, not bothering to turn around because she knew who it was. She wanted to run up to him and hug him as if everything was fine, as if everything was normal. She wanted to hold into him tightly, she wanted to pretend that nothing Longguo said was true. She wanted to think that everything that she found out was a lie, that Kenta was alive and that she can have a normal love story with him.

But this is reality, she finally understood why he was always cold.

Haeun tried to think of the positive, he cares about her and cherishes her, but how can she feel truly happy when she knew that he was going to die because of her?

Why do you love me, Kenta? I'm the reason why you're suffering.

"Haeun!", Kenta smiled brightly, standing in front of her with his a hand on his backpack strap. "Why were you ignoring me?", he sulked, jutting out his lower lip and crossed his arms cutely. Haeun felt her heart breaking even more as she looks at the boy in front of her. Was he faking his smile? Was he faking his happiness?

"Why are your eyes puffy? Did you cry?", Kenta asked worriedly, his smile vanishing as he cupped her cheeks softly. She hated how worried he was for her, she hated how caring he was towards her. She wished that they didn't know each other, she wished that he could just hate her.

She hated how she was the reason why he was dead.

Haeun pushed his hand away, breaking eye contact and walked away from him, leaving the poor boy dumbfounded. He quickly got over his shock and ran after her, stopping her once again and placed his hands on both of her shoulders. 

"Haeun, is something wrong? Did I do something bad?", Kenta questioned, fear in his voice as his sad eyes scanned her. Haeun inhaled sharply, trying her best not to tell him everything wasn't alright.

"I-I'm fine just...don't talk to me anymore"

And with that, she left him standing there alone.

For the rest of that week, Haeun had been avoiding Kenta the best she could. Whenever he would try to talk to her, she would turn the other direction. Whenever he came to the flower shop, she told Daniel to take her spot while she hid in the back room. Whenever Kenta would look at her, she pretended that she didn't notice him.