Tacenda ➵ poems

mother

I always say I have no one left,
Which is a complete and utter lie,
For I have her.
The person who gave life to me.
The person who cradled me,
Humming lullabies at night.

In her arms I wept,
In her eyes I clumsily fell down,
But all of that she eased,
With kisses and hugs,
And sweet smiles and I love you's.

She was everything to me.
She used to be enough,
But then I saw how big the world was,
And spread my wings to fly around,
Her face slowly dissolving from my head.

She knew my demons,
Better than I ever did.
She talked to them and sent them away.
In the attempt to get me back,
But they returned,
Stronger than ever,
Sending her away instead.

It was unfair.
I could still hear her calling out for me,
But I was too far ahead,
The goal was close,
And she was right over there.

Once I got there all I found was grief,
That grief crafting an abyss in me.
The abyss grew and I returned,
Only to realize how wrong I was,
Over chasing the light.

The light was right in front of me,
After all.
Shining brighter than the stars,
Standing stronger than the world.
She was enough after all.

But I watched her slowly disappear.
One by one the ground ate her alive,
Limb by limb they decapitated her.
And I stood still,
Incapable of doing anything.

Sometimes I fear,
That once I wake up she vanishes
That if I blink she'd be gone.
I don't want her to leave,
But everything was temporary,
And so was she.

I should've realized this sooner,
And didn't leave.
I should've been by her side,
Laughing at pathetic stuff,
On the televsion.
I should've thought about the inevitable,
that I feard more than anything else.