All the Time in the World (English)

Chapter 20 - Just a Little Step Away

The glass was cold against his forehead, but Guy kept leaning against the window, staring at the ambulances that were entering and exiting the hospital gates.
He kept thinking of Marian, or Miriam, even if he had promised Alicia not to let his life to be ruined by those obsessive thoughts.
He wanted to see her again and at the same time he was terrified. For months he had prayed to see Marian again at least once, to have the chance to ask her forgiveness, but he hadn't been able to meet her even in a dream.
But after seeing her face in the flesh, Guy was scared to death by the idea of hurting her again. He had loved her with all his heart, he had risked everything to protect her from the sheriff, and yet he had killed her.
Now, with all his good intentions, how could he be sure he wouldn't hurt Miriam too?
He had to stay away from her, it was the only sensible thing to do, and yet his heart kept hoping to meet her again, his eyes continued to look for the beloved shape of her face and his hands quivered with the desire to touch her soft skin again.
It's madness. I have to stop thinking about her.
"Guy."
Gisborne turned, relieved to recognize Dr. Robinson. Since he had met Miriam, the only way to distract himself from thinking about her had been to be in the company of other people, to try to be interested in their speeches.
"Did you come to check if I'm alright before letting me go?"
"Yes. Sit on the bed and take off your shirt."
Guy obeyed and waited patiently for the doctor to examine his wounds and to listen to his heart and lungs.
"Are you still feeling dizzy?"
"No, I feel good."
"Nausea? Pains?"
"Not at all."
Jack smiled.
"Wear warm clothes and have a nice day with Alicia. I think it will do you good to have some fun and to start getting used to the outside world."
"If that association will choose me for their program, will I be able to have a normal life sooner or later?"
"I'll be honest: I can't give you a definite answer. I've never seen a case like yours, I can't make a prediction of how things will go. In the past I have treated people who have suffered brain injuries and they had to learn even the simplest things again, but in most of those cases, the damage they suffered left permanent consequences. You have no injury, so you could potentially have a normal life, but there are also so many things you don't know, and I have no idea if you can learn all of them."
"I can always try. I don't have much else to do, after all."
"Yeah. I hope that you succeed. But today, just think about relaxing and having fun at Winter Wonderland. I think I will bring my family there next weekend, the children will like it a lot."

Alicia looked at Guy, trying to figure out if he was uncomfortable in the crowd of people walking among the stalls of the fair, but the knight seemed rather calm, though amazed by what he was seeing.
Gisborne looked around, staring at the illuminated Christmas trees and at the goods on display in the stands shaped like little wooden houses.
Alicia tightened a little the hold of her hand on Guy's arm to get his attention.
"So, what do you think? It doesn't look much like the fairs of your era, does it?"
"It does, actually. When there was some fair, the streets were filled with people, just like now, the merchants were exposing much more goods than usual, and there was always something interesting to see, including musicians, acrobats or jesters who performed to get some coins. There were also many scammers and cheaters, and then food and wine at will. But not so many lights."
Alicia chuckled.
"Then things haven't changed so much. By the way, do you want to eat something? Look, they sell mince pies, when I was little I couldn't wait for Christmas to eat them!"
The doctor approached the sweetshop, bought two little cakes and handed one to Gisborne.
Guy tasted it, and he looked at Alicia, a little surprised.
"They resemble those that the cook used to prepare for Christmas when we came to live in Locksley from France for the first time. Maman didn't like them very much, but for our father they were a tradition. Only, in those of my time there was also meat in the stuffing."
Alicia wrinkled her nose at the idea.
"Meat?"
Guy nodded, finishing chewing another bite.
"They were quite nutritious, but they are good even like this."
"The food you eat now must taste so strange to you..."
"Yes, it's true. Now you have exotic ingredients that once didn't exist in England, and others were rare and precious while now they are commonly used. I could never have imagined certain flavors."
"If we talk about hospital food, it's not hard to believe you. Maybe I should take you to dine out a little more often."
"Why, what's wrong with hospital food?"
Alicia looked at him, skeptically.
"Do you have to ask?"
"I'm not fussy. I ate worse food in my life: at least this is not moldy or spoiled and there are no pests inside it. Isabella instead was more delicate..."
"Was Isabella your sister?"
Guy nodded with a sigh.
"She hated me so much lately that she wanted me dead, she was the one who hit me with the poisoned blade. Perhaps if I had asked for her forgiveness, things would have been different."
Alicia laid a hand on his back in a gesture of comfort.
"Or maybe not, you can't know."
"Yes, I can't, and now what is done can't be changed. I only hope that in the end she has found peace."
Alicia nodded, unable to find the right words to comfort him, and for a while they walked in silence looking at the lights of the Christmas decorations, then it was Guy who turned to her.
"Alicia, could you ask Mr. Andrews something for me?"
"What?"
"I've been thinking about it since he showed me the sheriff's skull. Isabella had to be near him when they died, maybe some of the bones they found are hers. Do you think there is a way to understand it? I wish... I wish at least to give her a burial. Our parents never had one..."
"Maybe it's possible, I'll have to ask him if they can do a DNA test on the remains they found. It's a bit complicated to explain, but it's a test that would allow you to compare the bones they found and your blood to see if there is a relationship."
"Really? Is it possible to do such a thing? If at least I could give her a tomb, maybe Isabella could finally rest in peace..."
"I will ask Peter, there may be problems with costs, but I don't think he will object and I am sure he will find a way to perform the test. If I understood even a little how that man thinks, I think he would be thrilled to prove that you really come from the past and that there is a connection between you and his finds."
"Thanks Alicia." Guy leaned over to kiss her cheek, moved, then he straightened up and tried to smile at her. "But today we had said to put aside sad thoughts, so tell me about some of these modern traditions with which you celebrate Christmas in this time."
Alicia found herself with her eyes damp with tears seeing the sadness with which Guy had talked about his sister, but she forced herself to look serene.
"Ask away, what do you want to know?"
Guy had stopped at a stand displaying colored glass balls and Christmas decorations, and he pointed at one of them.
"That man dressed in red is depicted practically everywhere. Who is it? And what animals are those that pull his sled? They look like deers, but they are a bit different... And what's in that bag that's on his back?"