All the Time in the World (English)

Chapter 25 - A New Home

Alicia looked at the open duffel bag on Guy's bed and she noticed the precision with which the clothes had been arranged inside it.
"I think I've never seen a man pack in this way," she commented and Guy looked at her, a little uncertain.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Alicia smiled.
"All the contrary. Usually when patients take their belongings home, they are not so neat, especially men. Most of them throw everything in a suitcase, more or less in a jumble."
"It wouldn't be practical at all. When traveling, it is advisable to know exactly where everything is, in order to be able to recover it without wasting time in case of need."
"Have you traveled a lot in the past?"
"From France to England when I was young, and then I returned to France after the death of our parents... And in the Holy Land, twice."
"On a pilgrimage?"
Guy let out a bitter laugh.
"To kill King Richard the Lionheart."
"Twice?"
Guy sighed.
"Yeah. I'm not worth much as a killer."
"I can't see you as a killer," Alicia said, and she realized that she had said the wrong thing seeing Guy's pained look.
"But I am."
Alicia put a hand on his shoulder, in a gesture of comfort.
"Sorry, sometimes I talk too much."
Guy touched her hand with his own and gave her a sad smile.
"No, don't apologize. It's nice that you can see something good in me, despite everything. I appreciate it."
Guy carefully folded the last sweater and put it together with the others in the bag.
"I'll miss you, Alicia," he said suddenly, without looking at her not to show her how moved he was. "Without your help I would have been lost, I probably would have gone crazy for real..."
"Hey, you're not going to the other side of the world, don't talk as if this were a goodbye."
Guy let out a sort of bitter laugh.
"I'm a fool, don't you think? At my age I shouldn't be worried about a situation like this. And yet I'm afraid..."
The woman moved the bag and put it on a chair, then she sat on the bed and motioned for Gisborne to sit beside her.
"You're not foolish at all, and so far you've been even too brave. Do you have any idea how many sleepless nights I've had since Robin's rescue?"
Guy looked at her, surprised.
"You? Why?"
"Because I keep thinking about what happened and that I've really been in such a distant past, even if only for a few minutes. And then I wonder what would have become of me if we hadn't returned here, if we had stayed in the twelfth century..."
"I would have protected you, Alicia. I would have defended you at any cost."
"I know, but you couldn't do anything against famines or epidemics. I don't know if I'd have the courage to adapt to a world where a small cut is enough to die of infection."
"And will I be able to adapt to this time?"
Alicia smiled at him.
"Maybe you don't realize it, but you're already doing it."
"Because you helped me."
"No, because you are an intelligent and resourceful person. You survived so many adversities in your life, and you will continue to do so, I have no doubt about it. This is an opportunity. Perhaps following the program will be challenging, but after you do it, your life will be better."
"See? Just talking to you makes me feel better."
"We can always talk, even if we won't see each other as often as now. Here."
The doctor handed him a piece of paper and Guy looked at it.
"What's this?"
"My phone number. They will surely teach you how to use a phone, so we can talk even if we are not together. Remember that you can always count on me."
Gisborne smiled at her.
"I will keep it with care, thank you."
"Did you take all your stuff?"
Guy picked up the book of Robin Hood's adventures from the bedside table, and he handed it to Alicia.
"This belongs to you."
The woman gave it back to him.
"Now it's yours."
Gisborne nodded, moved, and Alicia hugged him tightly.
"Don't think I won't miss you," she whispered.

"Hood."
Guy sat next to Robin's bed and he looked at the outlaw's face, still in that unnatural sleep.
Since they had brought him into the present, Robin's condition had improved, and the doctors had said he was no longer in danger of life because of the poison, but he hadn't yet woken up from the coma and no one could say with any certainty if he would ever do.
"Come on, Hood, open your eyes. How can you always be so irritating?"
Guy sighed.
He wouldn't have the chance to visit the outlaw in the immediate future, and the idea of starting his new life while Robin was still there, stuck in that uncertain situation, troubled him. He felt responsible for him and at the same time he feared the moment of his awakening, if it was ever going to happen.
Every time he looked at his friend's face, he felt guilty.
What he felt for Miriam, the kisses that they had exchanged on the roof of the hospital, weighed on his heart when he thought of Marian, that love that had never been his and that had always belonged to Robin.
He shouldn't have let those feelings carry him away, he should at least figure out if that girl was really Marian or not and, if so, he had to force himself to give up on her, to let her go back to the man she truly loved.
Yet, every time he saw her, every word he exchanged with her, he was inexorably dragged towards Miriam, like a moth flying towards the flame of a torch. He would burn himself and he was perfectly aware of it, yet he couldn't get free from that sort of spell.
It must be Marian. Only she had this effect on me.
That thought terrified him and reminded him of the desert sun and the red of blood spreading over the girl's white dress.
It won't happen again. I'll rather die, but I'll never hurt her again.
This time Guy was perfectly aware that Miriam was not his, that he could lose her at any moment.
She could get tired of him, feel disgusted with him as soon as she realized who he really was, she could be horrified to learn about his past, or, if she was Marian, she would simply remember Robin and go to him without looking back.
Guy didn't allow himself to hope that he could be happy with Miriam, yet he wasn't able to give up those moments with her.
She will break my heart and I will accept it because I have no other choice.
Guy looked back at Robin's face.
If only the outlaw had awakened, perhaps he would feel a little less guilty every time he thought of Miriam.
As long as Robin was in a coma, Guy had the impression that he was acting behind his back, stealing something that wasn't his own.
"Miriam is identical to Marian," Guy said in a low voice, "and I kissed her."
He waited for a moment, hoping and fearing a reaction from his friend, but Robin didn't move and Guy sighed.
"Why do you always have to be so stubborn? If you had woken up earlier, I could have helped you, taught you the things I've learned since I've been here, for once I could have done something for you..."
A discreet knock at the door interrupted him and, turning to look, Guy saw that Alicia was waiting for him in the doorway.
"Is it already time?"
The woman nodded.
"The association's car has arrived."
Gisborne touched Robin's hand for a moment, then he stood up and reached the doctor.
"If he wakes up..."
"I'll let you know right away. Don't worry, we'll take care of him in the best way."
Guy took his bag and followed Alicia to the hospital entrance, where a man and a woman were waiting for him. They were the same people he had met a while before, during the meeting where he met Miriam, and Guy found himself thinking that he was feeling agitated and tense just like then.
Miriam wasn't present and perhaps it was good, otherwise her presence would have made him even more nervous.
He and Alicia had already said goodbye warmly, earlier in Guy's room, so they both behaved in a formal way before the others, to avoid questions or doubts about the professionalism of the doctor.
Alicia shook his hand and wished him good luck, and he thanked her politely, but they both knew that if they were alone, they would hug again, shedding some more tears.
Then, even before he was fully aware of it, Guy found himself sitting in the backseat of a car, traveling to a new life.