Our Beautifuls

our beautiful nights

"i can't control it

this fire path is spreading too quickly

don't stop me

so this love can burn up this night."

<><><>

despite despising all form of human contact, bren needed to share a bed. it was just one of the many odd aspects about bren along with refusing to eat cereal unless it was so drowned in milk you couldn't see anything more than the great expanse of white in the bowl. this annoyed perry but was never actually expressed whether due to fear of bren or not it couldn't be said.

so they shared a bed.

tonight was the same and the strange and warm feelings they'd silently explored for each other while on the sofa were gone, life reverting back to normal, a painful reminder for perry that nothing ever really changes.

their bedroom wasn't too small actually, being able to fit a double bed in and a desk, and a mirror which slid back and revealed a cramped and barely filled wardrobe.

the whole colour theme of the room was a baby blue, much to bren's dislike; the colour managed to seep into everything, from the rug on the floor, to the feathers of the dream catcher dangling above that would sometimes tickle their noses.

neither of the two slept that night, bren facing away from perry whose head was buried in a pillow, every now and then emerging and taking in obnoxiously loud gulps of air, kitten awakening each time and running around frantically in fright.

whether it was to spare kitten from further distress, or maybe because bren actually cared about hurting perry's feelings by recoiling back into the old shell of a contrary nature and scowls, but bren felt the urge to turn over and look at perry, and... maybe reach out.

for once, bren was unsure about what to do; bren who was always so sure, bren who always knew how to avoid feeling this way, bren who didn't have to care when perry's eyes would spiral out of control from billions of suppressed tears, but for some reason, bren wanted to care.

bren wanted to be different, to let go of the selfishness inside, to actually be able to hold perry without thinking back, to see past the greed and lust, and in some ways, perfect reflection of bren, perry had once let slip as they'd stumbled, drunk out of a club; well, perry had been drunk, bren was just there to make sure perry got into the right bed.

so overcome and torn, bren decided to do nothing. to not choose, bren could avoid the situation completely and go on living the unsubstantial existence currently being led.