Her Dramarama

Wondering

When I woke up I was alone in my room. The only thing to remind me of earlier was the shirt I wore. I started to wonder whether it really was a dream, but knew that I would not feel the way I felt if it was. My body still tingling and sore. I leaned against my head rest and touched my lips, hoping that tingling feeling lasted forever. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. To think that just days ago Hyunwoo was my elder, whom I was merely taking care of, and now. Well, what now? Like a dream was I supposed to just pretend it never happened? Could I do that? He left a lingering feeling, both physically and mentally, that I wasn't quite used to. 

I leaned over and grabbed my phone, which had been plugged in and neatly sat on top of my laptop. 2:14 A.M. WHAT!? I nearly jumped out of bed. I hadn't made dinner, or finished cleaning. What did the boys eat? Did they think I was still asleep from the morning? Why did no one come get me? I remembered Hyunwoo stopping Jooheon from waking me up, maybe he stopped them again. But why? 

I figured there would be no point to rush around like my first instinct insisted, but instead got up and put on a pair of shorts. 2 A.M... no one would be awake anyways. But I knew that my body would not just simply go back to sleep, so I left the room. I kept my head down, not for any specific reason other than I was still working on waking up, and it felt too heavy to keep up entirely. Besides, I had been here long enough that I could have made my way through it blindfolded, so why worry about it. I started thinking about it, how long had I been here? 4 months? Almost 5 I think... It felt like so much longer, but I guess almost half of a year, that was enough time to sleep with four of the seven. Oh God, what would the next 5 months have in store?

I made my way to the kitchen and went straight to the coffee maker. I slept all day... yesterday? Might as well just stay awake all day today so that I can go to sleep at a decent time tonight. I barely looked while setting up the coffee and pulling down a cup. I waited until it was done brewing, standing directly in front of it not moving, lost in thought. I couldn't stop thinking about Hyunwoo, wondering what I should say the next time I saw him. Wondering whether or not I wanted to pick him. The feelings he gave me were so unlike the others, but were they preferred or just different? He made me feel wild, absolutely engulfed in his everything, like he was the only being in the world who demanded my every sense to be on him. But was that something that I wanted every day, would it always be like that if I picked him. What about the others? 

Minhyuk, how did he make me feel? Beautiful... he made me feel special and confident. He made me giggly, and happy, comfortable. Changkyun, he also made me feel giggly. He was rough at the right times, yet gentle when he needed to be. He knew how to caress my heart, while also setting it afire. Changkyun and I could have the most fun so far but as friends, would it be the same if I picked him, would it be the same if we were officially more than friends? What about Hoseok? He definitely made my heart race, but his emotions got the best of him most times, was that a good or bad thing? I always know what he's thinking, what he's feeling, thats important to a relationship right? But he was more than that, he was kind and sweet when he wanted to be. He gave great hugs, completely enveloping someone until all of their negative emotions washed away and you were left feeling warm and happy. He had a laugh that was so contagious, but how did he make me feel? I remembered the day after our first time, feeling so on edge and uncomfortable around him, but was that him or the situation making me feel that way. I couldn't imagine him ever making me uncomfortable on purpose, unless it was friendly teasing.