Dedication: In each book I think there is an writer who I look up to. This is her for this story. Amazing writer and really nice person, her book CS is so good, one day I hope I can write something half as good. Now- you can read :)
Chapter 24:
This quote can only describe the future, not the present my dear, Katherine. If you ever find this, my love, it was my fault, we should have tried. Out brief candle. It wasn’t meant to be. And I will regret it till my death bed. Maybe tomorrow the sorrow in my heart will be non-flowing.
December the eighteenth, 1795. London, England.
The year of our Lord
Diary of William Blake
The ice fell like crystals, sharp and quickly onto the window of the carriage, whilst it moved in the daylight; they made it harder for William to see outside the window. Last night had felt like a nightmare, he had felt the responsibility for Katherine’s sickness. He wasn’t sure why last night had happened, but he wasn’t sure if he had done enough.
William had ordered the carriage to be stopped, but Katherine admitted it was because she had eaten something rotten, and wanted to continue with him. He did not want to take her, but she looked fearful of something or someone, possibly Georgina, William assumed.
The woman had a strong dislike for Katherine, and William did not have the time to change her mind. And so, he took her, but not after having her clean her mouth out, and sleep a little. Georgina had asked why William had returned within ten minutes of leaving, but William slammed the door of his study and watched Katherine sleep.
She looked better now, after several hours of sleep and William patting her forehead dry. Obviously weakened by her upchucking, her body looked limp in the carriage. There was no time for a doctor, and besides she did not want one, and they left later on, around midnight. William kept his pistol close, but they were on their way to Kent. He was glad, and as day break came, he realised he was glad he had brought Katherine with him. He could finally share something of his with her.
He was weak enough as a man. He was a provider, but that’s all he could be. He couldn’t love the woman he had to be with; he couldn’t cherish the woman he needed, because of what society said. He was sick of Andrew’s threats, bullying and mocking, but there was nothing he could do about it.
Andrew’s father had always wanted William as a son in law. Lord Phillips had always seen something in the young entrepreneur, and now that this engagement was on, the man had used it to trap William. Although Andrew hated his common family lineage, his father didn’t, Lord Phillips would use it to his advantage. He had publically declared it, expressed his wishes for a happy family, and made sure the ton knew all about it.
William had seen the piles of letters, asking for a visit with him. But he had ignored them all, and tossed them into the fire. They had all crackled away, but once again the piles began. He knew he couldn’t avoid talking to people forever, that was a childish notion, but for now it was good enough for him. He knew the ton would never leave him alone, but he knew he needed them too.
William’s clients were the ton. He did not benefit from the poor man. He benefited from the rich. His business would collapse if they found out about his weaknesses, his murdering, and his robbing, and Andrew knew all about it!
William sighed, and tried to relax by looking out the window of the Berlin.
William hadn’t been away from Kent for so long. His eyes widened in disbelief as the carriage stopped at the lane leading to the large house. It looked much better than it had a year ago. Some of the trees that the children had planted would surely be at his shoulders; one was clearly above his head. There was a rocky drive through where the Berlin drove to the stone built archway.
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