Dealing with Depression- SoarinDash

Beautiful For Me

-Sunset Shimmer-

I hugged the present that was in my arms for Rainbow. I knocked on the door and her mother answered, “Hey Sunset! Here to see Rainbow?”

“Ya. I brought her a little something to celebrate her new career.”

“Well, she went up to her room for bed a few minutes ago. But I'm sure she's still awake. You can go on up.”

“Thanks Miss. Dash. I'll show myself there.”

“Go ahead.”

I walked down the hallway and opened the door but immediately wished I knocked. Rainbows sleeves were rolled up a knife in her hand with small lines of blood dripping onto a red towel in front of her. She had a look of shock and possibly fear in her eyes as we simply looked at each other both not knowing what to say or do.

I felt the sadness build up. Course I already knew about how she cuts herself but I didn't want to believe it. She really was hurting herself. The shock and sadness that came when Soarin told me came back.

Eventually, she just sighed, wiped the blade on the blood stained towel then proceeded to wipe her arm off, “You should have knocked.”

I wanted to agree with her but if I did it might send the wrong idea. “Rainbow… h- how long has this been going on? Why are you doing this?”

She just avoided eye contact. “It's none of your business.” I just stood there for a minute while she put away the knife and filled the sink with water for the towel to soak. The she pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit while she pulled up another one as if this was normal. The thought just pained my heart even more. “So, what are you doing here?”

I winced at her slightly angry tone of voice. “Well, I knew that you were gonna start your modeling career so I made you a little something to help out a bit.” I gave her the wrapped gift. “It's not much but I hope you like it.”

She just stared at it wide eyed, “Y-you got me a present.” I nodded and she carefully opened it to reveal, “A wooden hand mirror?”

I nodded, “Look on the back.”

She flipped it over to reveal a message carved into it. Twilight helped me carve it in but I thought up the message. Which she read out loud, “‘To Rainbow Dash. A girl beautiful on the inside… And the out.’” she sighed. “Thanks Sunset. But I don't, can't, believe that. There is no way that I'm pretty.”

“But you are!” then I decided that the only way to convince her of that is to tell one of my darkest secrets. “Rainbow, d-do you remember all those things I told you before the Fall Formal indecent?”

She just nodded and I took a deep breath before continuing, “Then listen. This is something that I never told anyone… The reason I told you those things is cause, well, I was jealous.”

Her eyes went wide, “WHAT!”

I nodded. “It's true.”

“But, why!? I'm a nobody. Why would you be jealous of me!?”

“You were respected by the entire student body. You were, and still are, the hottest girl in school. You never lost a single game and wasn't afraid to stand up for what you believe in. You had 3 best friends that were rarely not at your games and parties. You were the most popular girl at school. No one thought negatively of you unless they were like me and jealous.”

She remained silent as I took a deep breath, “I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for all that I did. Especially to you. Your one of my best friends and I want to keep you safe.”

We just sat in silence for a moment before she spoke up again, “As much as I appreciate this Sunset, I just… can't. I'm not sure how much more I can take.”

“There is a reason that it's called the magic of friendship.”

For some reason, she got really angry. “Are you serious? You still believe the ‘most powerful magic in the world’ nonsense!”

“Rainbow, what are you talking ab...”

“When will you wake up from your Equestrian ‘it'll all work out with friendship’ dream? Cause news flash, the magic of friendship can't fix this. Nothing can. So how about you just go and read a book or something cause you always seemed to be more into those than trying to find out why I was always just looking forward with a blank expression. How could you have not seen it!”

By this point I was really hurt. She was right. I should have payed more attention to her but instead I was worrying about the next test or quiz. So I just stood up with silent tears running down my face, muterd a, “I'm sorry.” and ran out of the house.

I ran back to my apartment all the while praying and wishing that she'd be ok. Cause right now, it seemed like nothing was gonna be able to help her see the light.

When I got home I got out my messenger book and shakely wrote down what happened. From walking in to her cutting herself, to how she reacted to the mirror, to how she believes that the magic of friendship can't fix it, to how bad I feel about not realizing her feelings earlier. I want to help her but I don't know how. All I can think of is hoping that she won't commit the worst possible thing anyone can do to themselves. Suicide.