Dealing with Depression- SoarinDash

Sleep is an Escape

-Rainbow Dash POV-

Merry Christmas. Here's a depressing chapter. (Worst gift ever, I know.)

“...So how about you just go and read a book or something cause you always seemed to be more into those than trying to find out why I was always just looking forward with a blank expression. How could you have not seen it!”

Sunset started to cry and I realized that I said something that was too far. She just whispered, “I'm sorry.” and ran out. I ran to the window and saw and saw her running in the direction of her apartment building.

When she disappeared from sight I burst out crying. I didn't mean to hurt her. But I was just angry. The magic of friendship can't fix this. Why couldn't she see that? If it could, then I'd be happy right now. But no. I doubt that I'll ever be happy again.

Knowing that I already did it tonight, I got my knife and another red towel and rolled up my sleeves once again running the sharp part of the blade against my skin. The familiar trail of red blood dripped on the towel as I flinched slightly. I was getting used to the pain but that brought no emotion to my mind.

After a few more cuts, I let it bleed for a few minutes more till I once again wiped the blade and my arm as I did every night putting slight pressure on it so that it will stop bleeding and my parents won't get suspicious if there's blood on my sleeves. I already had a close call last night when they might have seen my other scars.

I took a shower the water stinging against my scars but the blood being washed off as to not leave residue on my pajamas. After I was done I changed into my long sleeved pajamas, plugged in my cell phone and climbed in bed.

I layed there for a few minutes trying to fall asleep but found that impossible. I couldn't stop thinking about Sunset’s hurt and stunned reaction when she saw me cutting my arms and when I yelled at her. I tried to act like it was nothing but that seemed to scare her more.

Why does she care? Wait. I know. She doesn't want the Element of Loyalty to go. She just wants to be able to use the magic of friendship. I knew it. No one cares about me or what I do. Not even my best friends or my closest family.

This wasn't the first time I got these thoughts and they didn't make me feel even the slightest bit afraid. There was a knife in my bathroom drawer if things ever got to bad, but I knew that my Loyalty will stop me. Loyalty is not an easy element to have.

I sighed finally escaping into my thoughtless sleep. My only escape from my living nightmare. It's the hard knock life.

It's the hard nock life for us. It's the hard nock life for us. 🎶🎵I apologise. And just so that you are aware, I currently have more than half a chapter written down in my document but I also have a small writers block. I know where I want to go with the chapter, but I don't know how to get there. You know those moments?

Any way, Merry Christmas everybrony and always wear your seat belt.