Month 1... Denial. I refused to accept that Ethan had died in the grocery store fire. I refused to accept that Grayson had agreed to this suicide plan of his brother's and saved me instead. I refused to think that Ethan was gone... and there was no one left that I cared about in this world. Hadn't my life been filled with enough loss and pain already?
Month 2... Anger. I was angry with Grayson for going through with this plan and killing his own brother. I was angry with Ethan for thinking that this is what I would want. I was angry with God for letting me survive this long. Long enough to form a close relationship with someone just to watch them get torn away from you. I was angry with myself for not telling Ethan that I loved him sooner. I was angry with myself for not going back in the store to save Ethan. I was angry with myself for doing the one thing that I promised myself not to do... love someone. I was angry with myself quite frequently.
Month 3... Bargaining. I bargained with God everyday; asking him to bring Ethan back in return for anything. I bargained with Grayson to let me go out and search for Ethan. Maybe there was a chance he was still alive and he was waiting, helplessly, to be rescued. To my dismay, every plea was denied.
Month 4... Depression. I had slipped into a state of profound sadness. There were days where I would never get up from my bed or even eat the barely edible food prepared by Grayson. I wanted to die. Not only to be able to see Ethan again, but to just be free from the everyday constant torment of my life.
Month 5... Numbness. I barely exchanged any conversation with Grayson. My body had run out of emotions to feel. For multiple days I sat staring at one fixed place, unmoving. Grayson forced me to eat everyday, saying that Ethan wanted him to keep me alive. What was the point anymore? To survive for someone who gave up so easily on his own life? I was numb to the world.
Month 6... Acceptance. Well, attempting acceptance. I found this concept incredibly hard, but I was working on it. It was only the beginning of the sixth month and I could already tell that this whole acceptance thing was not going to work out. I loved him. It's as simple as that.
YOU ARE READING
Maybe
AçãoOlivia has lost everyone that she has ever cared about most in the world... Until she meets Ethan. Will Ethan and Olivia team up to survive the end of the world? Or will the beginning of the apocalypse become too much for them to handle on their own?
