Love Hurts (Lesbian Story) -Completed-[Editing]

Chapter 16

 

   "You?" She says.

   "Yeah." I reply. "I'll watch lil dude for you."

   "You will? Are you serious?" She asks.

   "Yeah, I like kids. I never really had a great childhood so, spending time with kids pretty much makes my day." I tell her before turning back around to finish the dishes.

   "Aw, well I'm very grateful. I owe you one." She tells me as she gets up and hugs my back.

   I Smile at this, feeling her arms wrap around my waist as she lies her head against my back, put me in a comfort zone. I don't know what made me tell her I would watch her son. A part of me wants to get closer to her but another part of me wants leave her life.

   "Naw, its nothing." I tell her. "When do you need me to watch him?"

   "Tomorrow." She says without letting me go. "He doesn't start daycare until next week and I have a job interview." She tells me.

   "Oh, alright then, I gotchu." I smile as I finish up the dishes before turning around to face her. "I'm bouta' head home though, I know I've gotten on your nerves."

   "Actually, I like spending time with you." She tells me as she looks up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes.

   "Even after what happened last night? I'm sorry for that by the way. I know I ruined your night." I say as a sudden rush of guilt and nervousness rushes down to my stomach.

   "I know that you're going through something right now, you pointed that out right away, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, whenever you're feeling alone, you can call me. I'm always here for you, okay?" She smiles as she hugs me once again.

   Hearing her say those words brings a since of uneasiness upon me because I haven't trusted anyone after my last relationship and seeing the way she has been treating me so good, even with all of my up and down spirals of emotions, has told me a lot about her character. She has made me feel like no female ever has. Maybe its because she is the only women I have given my time to in so long. All the women I've had since my last real relationship have never sparked my interest like the women standing in front of me. She has so much cut out for her; she is getting her shit together for her growing family and, for her, being with me would be like raising two children. I refuse to do that to her. She doesn't deserve someone like me. And that's just how it has to be. Now I am starting regret my agreement to keep her son.

   I give her a small smile as i hug her back. I can feel her breath crash against my neck. The scent of her soft skin feels my nose and her warm body makes me never want to let go. We hug long and tight before I hear her whisper something in my ear, but I am too engulfed in this moment to recognize her words. I feel her arms loosen but I keep mine locked around her torso.

   I know I have to stop messing with her so heavy. Friends or not, deep inside I can feel something growing in me for her. I would hate for my feelings to get the best of me.

   "Thank you." I mumble into her shoulder.

   As I slowly loosen my arms from her waist, I pull back a little leaving space between us as we lock eyes. I notice that she is starting to lean towards me as her eyes look into each of mine back and forth. I can feel knots developing in the pit of my stomach. My heart is telling me to lean in and plant one on her lips but my mind is telling me that I need not to. It would only cause confusion for her when I do end our friendship. So, I break eye contact and take a step back.

   "Well, I'll call you later. Maybe we can hang." I lie to her as I head for the door.

    "Oh, okay then." She says, I can clearly hear the disappointment in her voice as I quickly leave the kitchen.

   I grab my jacket from the couch before heading for the front door.

   "Bye," She tells me as she leans against frame of the kitchen door.

   "Deuces," I say as I chuck up the peace sign with my fingers.

...

     As I enter the elevator I mentally smack myself for leading Aleah on to kissing me. Lord knows I would love to feel her lips on mine but she should know that I'm no good for her. She has her life going well and I won't do anything but get in the way of her and her baby's future.

   I get off on the first floor and walk out of the building. As I make my way to my car, I see an old client of mine walking down the hall. And by client, I mean someone who I'd 'sell' to. He sees me get off the elevator and begins to approach me with a big smile.

   "I ain't got nothing on me Terry. I told you a long time ago, I 'on't do that no more." I tell him before he can even get his words out.

   Terry is just one of the many 'weed heads' that I supplied to in the past. Right around the age of 19 he would come to me everyday, if not twice a day, for some green. This lasted for almost two years before he got me caught up with the feds. I ended up bailing myself out on a $1,300 bond. Another time, he got asked me for the shyt while we were around this gang called the 4knicks. I told him to wait because I didn't want to be flashing no money around these dudes because they known for robbing people. But he started running off at the mouth and we ended up getting both of our asses jumped and robbed. I ain't never got my ass whooped so bad before I met this nigga'. That's when I knew I had to get myself together for real.

   "Aww, come on. This the last time, man, I swear. I just need-"

    "Nigga, I don't got shit for you. Nah, get out my damn face with that beggin' shyt. I'm not in the mood." I snap before hopping into my car and driving off.

   ........

   "Bruh, where the hell you been at?" Mitch asks as I walk into the living room of my home.

   There is a pillow and sheet on the couch, so from the looks of it, it seems as though Mitch spent the night in my house last night.

   "Man, I gotta' talk to you bout this girl I told you bout-"

   "Man, fu'ck that! Where you been?!" She snaps. "I was callin' ya' phone all night, nigga!"

   "Why you trippin'? Boy, you ain't my Moma, nigga-"

   "Sho' in the fu'ck ain't!" She yells as she pokes a finger into my shoulder. "Cuz' yo Moma is the one laid up in a hospital bed where you ain't been. I been there! By her side all night! She woke up last night and you know what's the first thing she said to me?"

   At this point, I am feeling very guilty. I haven't even seen my mother in weeks and I damn sure didn't wanna see her brain dead on hospital bed. Although she was my mother, she was never there throughout my childhood, so being there for her is kind of hard for me too do.

   "What-"

   "'Where is Monica?', is what she said." Mitch cut me off. "So when you gone grow up, bruh? Do you even care about yo' Moma?"

   Mitch is beginning to piss me off. She thinks that just because I have strayed away from my mother that it means I don't care. She doesn't know my thoughts; my emotions.

   "Why would you even ask that?!" I yell. "You must not know me! You must not know what I've been through and how she was never there for me! You don't know what I'm going through! It would break my heart to see my mother in that bed, dying!" I yell, tears welling up in my eyes but I try hard to fight them back. "Shyt, I've been here for her way longer then she has been here for me. Your mother was more of a mother to me then my own, and you know that!"

   "I know, alright? And I'm sorry, but all I'm saying is that you should be there. Not me." Mitch says in a much calmer voice then before. "I'm finna' go, I'm see you later."

   With that, Mitch leaves my house and slams the door on her way out, leaving me standing in my living room looking stupid.