Anxious Relationships

Part 1: Anxiety - Logic

Okay, so . . . yeah, I left Patton, - but I was nervous, okay? Afraid he was getting too comfortable - that I was getting too comfortable . . . but it did feel okay, and I want more of it. I'm too embarrassed to go back to Patton, so I start thinking of anyone else I wouldn't mind hanging around. Come to think of it, the answer's pretty obvious, Princey wasn't even an option! But, seriously, I like Logic . . . sometimes. You know, when he stops being a complete idiot and starts talking sense. Or when he shows up Princey, loved that battle!

It takes all of my courage to walk up to his door, and all of my being to knock. 

"Come in."

I slowly turn the door handle, dreading what's about to happen. I know he isn't expecting me of all people . . . 

"Anxiety?" 

I open my eyes at his voice. Wait, when did I close my eyes? They were squeezed shut, and my jaw hurts from gritting my teeth . . . Great! Now I look like a fool in front of Logic, things couldn't have started of better!

"Anxiety, are you alright? You seem . . . tense."

"Uh, yeah, sorry . . . "

I had a plan. To ask for one of his crossword puzzles, then play dumb and ask him to help me with some (most) of them. But now, I'm supposed to provide an explanation for why I'm 'tense'. What can I say, 'Oh, I was just nervous, and maybe a tiny bit scared of OPENING YOUR DOOR!?' Ugh, that's so humiliating. I'm so humiliating.

 And now there's this awkward silence because I won't say anything, but . . . I don't want to leave. So I'm just looking at the ground, ashamed of my existence, and though I don't dare make eye contact, I'm pretty sure I can feel him looking at me - hard. 

On second thought, I think maybe I should go-

"Anxiety?" I jerk my head up. "Is it possible that this new experience of you coming to other people is making you . . . uncomfortable?"

I roll my eyes, of course he'd figure it out. Though it's annoying, I'm kind of relieved. I'm glad we have Logic, without him, I'm pretty sure I'd go bonkers, being the only sane one.

I turn my head away as I feel my cheeks heat up, " . . . maybe."

"Well, this is certainly interesting." Dang it, I should've known he'd see this as an experiment! Forget thi-

"Anxiety, why did you come here?"

"Uh," why is my mind blank? Remember. Remember! REMEMBER! "I-I wanted to borrow one of your crosswords!" I end up saying it a bit too quickly and loudly. Man, everything is going badly.

"Oh, of course, pick any one you want." I finally step in his room, feels like I've been standing at the door for hours.

I take my time looking through his bookshelf, and think about my plan. It would require me to come back to him, multiple times, and I can't go through that again. Crud, what am I going to do?! Why am I working so hard for this? Is it really so important? Can't I just go to bed, turn in for the day? I know it's early, but . . . 

"Anxiety," geez, how many times has he said my name? "May I ask why you really came here?"

My body tenses, and I stiffly turn around, "Wha-What do you mean?" My voice sounded weird, so I clear my throat.

"Well, you've been staring at that book for 2 minutes straight, and since you haven't taken it, I believe you were in deep thought over something, and I doubt it had anything to do with crosswords." Does he have to be so cocky? "Furthermore, I felt that the amount of worry and nervousness upon your entrance was due to something of more importance to you than . . . crossword puzzles.

"It is common to have an excuse, or alibi, to use as a means to get closer to the real agenda. So, Virgil, why are you here?"

 Art Credit: sorry, I can't fing it, comment if you know who drew this