Anxious Relationships

Part 1: Anxiety - Logic 2

I can't think. Why'd he have to put me on the spot like that? I can feel my temperature rising and I feel like I'm sweating. It's times like this, I wish I could disappear. If I get any worse I might start physically shaking.

"Virgil, calm down!" What? "Breathe."

I wasn't breathing . . . I do that sometimes. Logan hands me a bottle of whatever, my throat is kinda dry. How does he know how to take care of me so well?

"I'm sorry." I choke out after I put the the bottle. My vision cleared and my brain is getting less blurry.

" . . . Why are you so . . . for lack of a better word - anxious?" He asks tentatively, I appreciate that.

I sigh, "I just . . . wasn't sure you wanted me around . . . " Logan gives me a look, "and that bothered me especially because . . . " I shut my eyes. "I wanted to hang out, okay?!"

There's a pause.

I hate pauses.

"Really?" I look up. "Is that what's been bothering you?" I'm not sure I like his tone. Oh great, now he's smiling - but you know he never smiles, unless it's condescending - so he's actually smirking.

"Virgil, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to spend time with you. I could learn more  about you and we could grow more accustomed to one another."

I feel a smile creeping up on me. "Yeah, that sounds great." I scratch the side of my face, "But it kinda seems like you know me so well already."

"How so?"

"Well, you managed to calm me down before I got too out of hand, and you noticed my state almost immediately."

"Well, I have read up on some of the things you go through and bring with you."

"Right."

"Why, as soon as you arrived I have been studying and researching in order to be prepared for anything and make you feel as comfortable and welcome as possible."

"Really?" Wow, that seemed pretty nice of Logan.

"Yes. How else would I have prepared for your arrival?"

"Well, I didn't really expect anyone to prepare. If I had it my way, I'd rather you guys wouldn't notice my presence, but that's impossible so . . . "

Logan stares at me for a short while, "Virgil, I think I should let you know, to Thomas, we're all one, but to Patton and Roman, we're a family . . . of equal worth and value."

I'm a little in shock. Really? "Even Roman?" I ask hesitantly.

Logan smirks to himself, "Definately Roman. He reminds me of an older sibling being upset because the newest member of the family is taking the attention away from him."

I stifle a laugh, I can see that.

"So, Virgil, would you like to join me in solving some crosswords?" He's kinda nervous, but mostly expectant.

"Uh, yeah, you pick out your toughest puzzle books, and I'll go get some snacks."

"Oh, that's unusually thoughtful of you."

"Yeah, well, can't think on an empty stomach . . . "

"Right."

"I'm back." I put the plate of sandwhiches on his desk.

"So I see, I didn't expect you to take so long."

" . . . sorry? I didn't really know where everything was, so it took a while to find. And I didn't know I'd suck so bad at  cutting bread."

"Well, you do know you could have asked, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"

"No, don't worry about it."

"Hm, okay then, shall we get started?"

I nod my head and we solve puzzles. His knowledge of random information and obscure facts definately help, but when it comes to wit and basic knowledge of human emotions he never gets it. It's always priceless to see him get so frustrated, when he can't solve anything through reason or simple logic. 

After a while, Logan reaches for a sandwich, " . . . Virgil, why are you staring? Did you put something in these sandwiches?" 

"No, I didn't, I promise! I just . . . hope I didn't mess them up . . . "

"I'm sure you did just fine Virgil, they're just sandwiches after all."

I make a worried noise and wait for him to take a bite. I watch his face light up with suprise and pleasure as he recognizes the taste. He tries to say my name but it comes out as a jumbled mess. I think I did a good enough job.

"Virgil! This has Crofters jam in it!"

"I know that, Logan, I made it."

"This is amazing! Thank so so much!"

"Uhh, no problem." It's kinda wierd to be thanked, no one ever thanks me for what I do.

"Virgil, let's finish this puzzlebook, I feel like I can do anything!"

I chuckle, "Okay, Ethan Hunt." Something tells me that jam's got too much sugar.

Logan and I managed to get 3 quarters of the puzzles done before my head started aching and Logan started dozing off . . . Maybe he was crashing from all the sugar. I take Logan's blanket off of his bed to cover him and try to close the door as quietly as I can on my way out.

I head to my room, maybe I'll go to bed too. Though that was way more fun than I thought it would be, I guess spending so much time with another kinda drained my energy. In my room, I check the time. Woah, it's been hours! It's already evening, still early but . . . I'm taking a shower and going to bed. It's been an incredibly fulfilling and fun night.

Art credit: 

https://aminoapps.com/c/thomassanders/page/blog/analogical/RaXz_8XFwu6GbrRWL8ZRlQ5XkgzgEMNPlL