Unspoken

Chapter 12

I can't see anyone I know, so I just walk out of school without saying goodbye. It's not like anyone's gunna miss me.

Now for the walk home.

An hour, great.

I pull out my phone to text Mum to pick me up, but to be honest the fresh air might do me good, so put it away.

A boy, similar age to me, with light brown hair and a backpack is strolling along just in front of me. Around his waist, he's tied his jumper, and I can see as he swings his arms, the intricate black ink doodled all over them. Well not all over them, there's four arrow things, but other than that I can't see much.

It's getting quite chilly, what with it being November and all. I didn't bring a jumper, just my top, so I'm freezing my tits off, but I'll be home soon.

I'll be home soon.
I'll be home soon.
I'll be home soon.
I'll be home soon.
I'll be home soon.

Nope, not working. The hairs on my arms are still raising. Drilling it into my head that I'm going to be home soon isn't convincing my body it's any warmer.

This is so much better though, than being cooped up in my room. Whilst there, I thought I wanted nothing more than to be left alone to my darkness and self hatred, but now I know that I much prefer the outside world, where I can bury my horrible inner thoughts in a heap of other pointless dramas. Like Indi's part time job as a sexy dancer. I can't help but find the picture in my head amusing... Although I shouldn't laugh at her misfortune.

Caity.

Why does it keep randomly coming to me? Well not it, she. I need to get over it. Her. I need to get over her. Oh god no, not like that. I will never be able to mentally get over her death, no matter how many years, how many counsellors, the pain will never etch away. But maybe I can develop as a person and make new friends, not replace her, but just try not to fuck up my future by dwelling on the past.

The boy has quickened his pace, so I quicken mine. Why not? Casually chase hot boys down the high street. Stalker is my middle name.

After thinking that over and realising how creepy that is, I slow down again. Why am I chasing guys? Am I that desperate? I must be because I was drooling over Harry today.

It's just I've never gotten along with someone so easily, even if we didn't talk much. Our silence wasn't awkward and we were laughing and joking, something I have yet to do properly with Indi, Roz and Sam.

Ooh I have to tell my mum about Friday! Or was it Saturday?

I have the brain capacity of a fish and the memory span of Dory from Finding Nemo. Literally. Caity used to-

I shake my head to rid the thought.

As I look up, I'm in an unfamiliar area, but it's alright because I have my trusty GPS on my phone.

Unfortunately when I type in, "home" it doesn't register, and I can't for the life of me remember my address. Oh this is bad.

Okay so I'm lost. No biggie... I'll just walk around for a while and hopefully end up at home. Up ahead, I see a few shops, and the off-license Indi was talking about. I used to go there, to buy sweets, but I walked there with-

With Caity. Caity knew how to get back.

I was the hopeless loser who went along with it laughing all the way and not paying any attention to where I was, what turns we made, what roads we walked along. But Caity and I stopped going there for ageess, not really sure why. She said she didn't like it.