Be More Chill and Dear Evan Hansen Oneshots (Discontinued)

Please Don't Leave... (Connor Murphy x F!Reader)

By: Animereadvideogames. Words: 2758
Warnings: Mention of suicide-Connor, not reader. (I don't find it to be as bad as others, per say, but... still, don't read if this bothers you too much).

Call me magic, but, somehow, I got Connor Murphy to open up to me. I'm not sure exactly what I did... I mean, there were times when I'd go and just sit with him and attempt to make conversation. He was always aggressive, though... whenever I saw him shove down kids in the hallway, I would stand up to him. But, even with Connor skipping classes, smoking weed, being kind of an asshole... I've found that I wasn't mad at him.

I don't know why this is, actually. I usually dislike people who act in such a way... but Connor doesn't get on my nerves. Well... maybe it's because all I hear about him from other kids is all this bad stuff... and, even from the tiniest conversations I have with him, I can see quite clearly that isn't true. He's not a bad guy... he's just hurting. It's people like Jake, Kurt, and Ram that bug the hell out of me.

All I hear those three say to or about Connor is how much of a freak he is... and they call him gay a lot. I don't understand that... I think it's pretty obvious that they're the gay ones here. Anyway... everything everyone says about Connor is always so awful, and I refuse to believe any of it. Sure, he pushes people away, he's rude, he's aggressive, and other things, but he just needs some love. Or a friend. Someone to care about him, unlike his sister and parents.

Maybe that's why he opened up. Maybe he opened up because I care about him... Connor seems to have been doing a lot better, actually! Around me, at least... and Evan Hansen... Evan is a very friendly guy, so that makes sense, too. I'm in the midst of eating lunch... and
Connor isn't here. I'm not too worried... he usually goes outside during this time.

When I finish eating, I stand up and throw away my lunch tray. Taking a quick glance around the cafeteria, I quietly slip out without any of the teachers spotting me. Good... I manage to get out of the door, but I feel dismayed upon not smelling the usual scent of weed. But... he always smokes out here when he doesn't come to lunch... I walk around the corner, and I start to feel worry climb up the pit of my stomach. He isn't here...

Connor skips a lot of school, sure, but he hasn't done that for nearly a month... When he does, it's usually just a particularly bad class for him, not the whole school day. He hasn't skipped like this for ages, and, knowing this fact, it wasn't keeping my brain from flying too many bad places in such little time.

I march back into the school, but I am careful to avoid causing too much of a scene. My eyes flick around like mad, and I couldn't stop the negative thoughts from pouring in my head, like a wave. Then I spot her. Zoe Murphy. I walk right up to her, and only at this time do I realize that she's sitting with Jared, Alana, and Evan. Shit... I'm going to stutter a lot. Well, too bad...

"Zoe freaking Murphy... where the hell is Connor?" I state as I walk up to her, my arms crossed across my chest. I didn't stutter... huh. Nice. Zoe glances upwards, and she raises an eyebrow slightly.

"He... didn't want to come out of his room or something. My parents and I just assumed he was skipping again," Zoe replies, and she shrugs her shoulders. My eyes widen, and I run a hand through my hair.

"Did you... check on him? At all? Did anyone see what was going on in his room?! Did anyone even care to do that?!" I exclaim as my breathing slowly starts to become uneven. I gently tug at my hair while my leg began to bounce anxiously. Zoe just stares at me.

"Why would I... doesn't he always skip?" Zoe retorts, awkwardly scratching her upper arm. I try to calm down my lungs, but it wasn't working well. I violently pull at my hair, and Zoe just stares at me. "What's wrong?" she then asks.