The Blood Of The Rainbow

.:Chapter 35:.

I threw my bag over my horses back as the sun peaked over the distant hills. The knights were socializing and packing their own supplies, so I decided to just ride ahead.

I rode for just a few minutes by myself when I heard a horse approach behind me. I was surprised to see that it was Arian.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

I glared at him, but he continued, "I get it. The way you were fighting out there. I get it, I can get too extreme, too. But you are in a lot of pain and this isn't the way to fix it."

I nodded, but wasn't really listening.

"I'm serious," Arian said, his voice hard. "You're going to destroy yourself from the inside out."

I kept nodding, my head bobbing absently as I tried to drink in his words. I really tried.

"I'm sorry. For imposing on the battle." I said, knowing I shouldn't have come.

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to my brother, since he has no idea where you are," he said with a hint of a snicker. I didn't know if he was mocking or just amused, but I chose the latter, the safer option.

"What—how did you—" I spluttered. My hands tightened on my horse's reins.

"You're joking, right? My brother would never let his precious little wife go to war. I knew the minute you showed up that you snuck off."

I smiled at myself sheepishly for being so dumb. "Whatever."

"You still plan on riding by yourself?" he asked as we were getting further from the campsite.

"Yeah, I'm gonna make a slight detour."

Arian nodded, guiding his horse to turn around. "See you at the palace, then. Be careful." I waved, and then he was already off and not looking back.

Feeling oddly relieved, I set my horse into a gentle trot. I stopped behind a large tree and changed out of the metal armor into my old leather fighting gear.

I entered the town that neighbored my old home and went to a very familiar house.

I knocked on the door and Ivalyn opened the door.

"Um, how can I help—oh my God! Violet! Come here!"

She pulled me into the house and spun me around. Our laughter filled the room and I felt true happiness hit me. Ivalyn had been a very close friend of mine for years, and even though we lived in different villages I still made the time to visit her. But now that I lived in the castle, I wasn't able to see her for a very long time.

I heard a pair of footsteps rush down the stairs. I looked over my shoulder and saw Ivalyn's parents falling to their knees and bowing to me. Ivalyn looked confused, while I asked them to stand up.

"Please, there's no need for that," I said.

"What was that about anyway, guys? It's just Violet," Ivalyn said, blissfully unaware. It was nice to hear again that I was just me.

"Oh, hun, we totally forgot to tell you. Violet married King Alexander," her mother said.

Ivalyn looked at me, bewildered. She smacked me on the head before rambling on.

"How could none of you tell me? You're queen?"

I caught her wrist and put my finger in her face. "I could have you killed for doing that," I joked. We all laughed, but Ivalyn still looked deep in shock.

"Holy crap, Violet! Queen Violet! Never in a million years did I think someone like you could become queen."

I laughed, holding her hands. "I know, I was just as shocked as you are. What can I say? I won over the prince." I winked at her before we both giggled.

"Wait, so what brought you here, Violet? You look like you were just in war," Ivalyn pointed out, looking at me up and down.

"I just needed to see something, like home. I've felt lost for a bit. Can we go for a walk, Iva?" I asked, wanting time alone with her. It was obvious that I was slightly avoiding the question, at least for the time being.

"Yeah, of course." She slipped on her shoes and we headed outside. "Back to the question. Why did you come see me? You must be busy up in the palace."

"Well, I got pregnant seven months ago," I said, thinking about the baby I could be caring for right now.

Ivalyn didn't need me to say it. She knew what happened.

"Oh, no, Violet. No. I'm so sorry," she said pulling me into a sympathetic hug. I let the tears flow for the first time, feeling the pain and emptiness in my heart instead of blame and anger at myself.

"What was the baby?" she asked, making me realize I didn't know the gender of the baby.

"I don't know. I couldn't look at it long. Ivalyn, it broke me. I couldn't stay in the same castle where I lost the baby, so I left for war. I left with no one knowing and went behind Alex's back. I need to go back," I said, feeling terrible. Alex must be going through so much panic and anxiety right now, and I thought about the hundreds of sentries he must've sent to search for me.

"Leave? Violet, you just got here. I know what happened was hard, but please don't go. Or at least take me with you. I've never been near the palace. Is it beautiful? Oh, I bet it's gorgeous."

I cut her off before she can ramble on some more. "I love you, Iva, bur I really need to see Alex. By myself."

I took her hand and walked her to the front door of her house.

"You better come back. I've missed you so much," she warned.

"I will. I promise." I kissed her cheek once again and swung myself over my horse and began to ride away, and Ivalyn didn't leave the front door until she couldn't see me in the distance anymore.

My mind once again wondered to my husband and the turmoil I left him in. I knew what was waiting for me at home, and I was dreading the shame and pain I would feel twice over.