Revved (Ziall AU)

Chapter Eighteen

I don't know why I did it, but I did. Everything was starting to fall into place like I had always pictured it to be. Everything should have been perfect. Should have. Josh was falling in love with me, Zayn and Harry were back together--kind of--and spending more time with each other. I lent him Zayn, car-form, for the weekend which I presumed to be a good idea.

Meanwhile, Josh spent his weekend with me. I needed something like that since my parents were usually at work. The weather was beginning to feel like summer again, and the skies were getting blue once again. Time kept moving after all this time. Yet, I kept finding myself asking the same questions every morning I woke. Is this real?  Am I really passing another day like this? And I'd answer them with the same answers: Yes. This is really happening. Time and time again.

"You're spacing out, Niall. Stay with me babe." Josh joked, caressing my shoulders with his thumbs. We relaxed on my couch, talking for nearly half the day. He came over early this Saturday morning, checking up on me. He wasn't what I expected he was to be; Josh was masculine and also easily a shy guy around me. He said he would try his best to protect me if anything happened. Everything about him was just... cute. I had anticipated for a sweet guy to come around, not that Josh wasn't, but the reality didn't exactly fit the bill. Of my imagination. My heart just kept telling me otherwise.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, staring down at me into my eyes. "Zayn," I answered easily, realizing that I couldn't lie about anything at all right now. "He's with Harry. He's fine. Don't worry." Josh assured. I wished I could say that enough times to make myself believe it was, too. Damn it. I was making wishes again. Goals with out plans are wishes. I didn't need anymore wishes.

"You're right," I feigned a grin.

"Aren't I always?" He playfully replied. "Why don't you go get dressed and we could have a nice dinner later." Josh instructed. That was a good idea; food was usually the answer to all my problems. I haven't thought about food in a long time either. "Fine. I'll be right back then." I told him, wriggling off the couch and heading to my room.

I swapped my pajamas for a pair of black jeans and a white T-shirt. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple times before my hand instinctively reached into the front pockets to check myself out in the mirror.

There was this thing there.

It was Zayn's half-crinkled, half-washed photograph laying there in my palm. I must've have accidentally tossed it in the washer along with all the laundry. My heart sank. That was one of the last things left to remind me of him, yet, I failed to keep it safe. I had let him down too many times.

Why am I suddenly so obsessed? He was never on my mind that much back then. I thought I was just being a bit to protective. Maybe that's it. He and I. We were nothing more...Nothing more than just good friends.

A minute crept by. Then, another one. And another. The picture haunted me, washing down my spine. "You ready?" Josh asked in the distance, before appearing at my bedroom door.

That's right. We were nothing more than just friends.

~*~

"Great then. I'll take those menu's and put in your orders," our waitress declared, granting even more time for us to talk. It's always just talking between Josh and me. I twirled the straw in the cup of water, pushing the lemon around. The little restaurant was half empty. There was an old couple in a corner, and a younger guy in the other.

"You don't look so good," Josh informed me, reaching for my hand when I pulled away suddenly. I casually rubbed my forehead. "I'm fine. Just a little tired today," I replied, mentally screaming to get out of this place. I was in a hurry for the rest of the evening to pass. After today, I would be able to see Zayn again. "Oh, okay." Josh mumbled, not speaking again until the food came. I mean, I knew it was awkward, but I just wasn't in any mood to talk whatsoever.