Five
"So you're seeing him now?" Tina asked, painting her nails a silky shade of purple; littered with sparkles that made the polish appear galaxy-like as she painted it onto her nails.
I nodded, knowing she was referring to Steven; whom I had been dating for about a month by this point.
Tina didn't have a witty column of advice to reply with; only nodded her head and turning her attention back to the polish she was elegantly gliding across her fingernails.
"Are you alright? You're being awful quiet..."
"Yeah-Yeah, I'm fine."
Tina pulled a cigarette from her purse and while placing it in between her lips she lit it and breathed in deeply. I started coughing and swatted the smoke away from my face.
"I didn't know you smoked..." I managed to get out, gagging at the smell and coughing to get the fumes out of my lungs.
"Not until recently. I picked it up down at one of the bars Matt took me to last weekend."
I couldn't help but notice that at the mention of Matt's name her voice got a little bit tense and she breathed in another heavy draw off the cigarette. I watched her eyes flicker from the cigarette and back to me; who sat still in the grass, observing her behavior.
Tina began ignoring my eyes and twisted the cigarette down into the grass; breaking the flame and abolishing the smoke.
"I see a pair of lips I'd really like to make-out with..." Steven smirked, pulling my waist and bumping me flirtatiously into him. I tried to smile, laugh it off, or attempt some other method of being 'attrativley-interested-yet-aloof' that Tina had taught me, but Steven was being almost overly into me tonight; to the point where I was becoming uncomfortable.
"You're funny..." I laughed, forcing a flirty sense of confidence, and fighting the unexplained bad feelings that were bubbling up in my stomach.
"And you're so hot." He grinned; those ocean eyes temporally reminding me why I had picked him of all people to branch out with that day in the bookstore. Steven threw his arm up and over my shoulder, gradually moving his hand down my chest, but I took a hold of his wrist before he could do so.
Instead, I placed his hand in mine and gave him a sultry smile. "Come on, lets skate another lap."
Taking his hand, I started guiding us both down the roller rink, keeping my eyes on his leaning my body towards him. I was trying to hold his interest; but he was looking above the majority of the patrons on the ice and towards a cluster near the back boards of the rink.
"I'll be right back. Don't go too far." He winked, grinning and skating over to the group in the back.
I stood alone in the center of the ice where we had previously been hanging out. I bent down to rub off a black scuff that had somehow gotten onto my skate, and when I stood up I spotted Steven standing next to a cluster of boys laughing and talking about something I couldn't hear.
Sighing, I contemplated whether or not I should go over there and interrupt whatever it was they were discussing; baseball probably. Or if I should continue to stay here in the center of the rink, letting the obnoxious music and neon floodlights wash over me and absorb me in their performance.
Having made the decision to exit the rink, I began skating over to the large doors that would lead me off of the rink, when a heavy hand clomped down on my shoulder.
"Where you headed?" Steven asked goofily, his blue eyes looking more like frozen ice and less like the warm ocean with each passng moment.
"Just going out to get some air." I spoke very quickly, feeling the lie cause a blush flood into my cheeks.
"I'll come with you."
Steven opened up the door off of the rink and we both started walking towards the doors that would take us to the outside of the rink. My heart was beating thunderously; something about this felt wrong; not in a sense of morality, more in a sense that what I was predicting was going to happen when we walked outside was not going to be something I would like.
We made it through the doors and I let the warm evening air fill my lungs. Steven did the same, brushing his fingers in his hair that had once filled me with butterflies; but now they all just felt like dead lumps of fear in my stomach.
He turned my head towards his, and right in the middle of the sidewalk outside the rink he starting kissing my lips more forceful then ever before. His hands wrapped tighter up and over my shoulders, pulling me closer to him as he tried to slip his tongue into my mouth. I kept my lips tightly closed, not knowing if I should just push him away or let this all happen.
"Passionate, forceful kisses are the best..." Tina had ravished earlier.
"He wants you so much that he can't even control himself."
Was it wrong that I just felt sick inside?
