Eight
Steven was on top of me.
We were making out on the sofa, and it wasn't an exaggeration to say that I could feel his tongue sliding down my throat. I wanted to gag, to shove him off of me, but I was busy channeling all of the anger I was currently harboring against Tina into some kind of twisted romantic chemical. Stephen seemed to be enjoying it.
Why wouldn't she just tell me what the problem was? I was supposed to be there for her. I never hid anything from her.
Steven started kissing my neck and I took the opportunity to breathe.
Why can't she just trust me?
Instead of continuing my internal rage against the situation, I began kissing Steven harder, opening my eyes to see that his were closed as his lips sent tingles up my neck.
Immature my ass...
That's when Steven started reaching for the bottom of my dress and started pulling it further up my legs.
All the fire that had previous been coursing through my veins turned cold as ice and my lips froze in their position on his. Steven didn't seem to notice, and insisted on continuing to move my dress upwards.
"If it ever gets to the point where he starts making moves like he wants you... He's made his choice, and it's time to make yours. " Tina had said just a few days ago.
"But I don't even know what I want." I confessed to her. "Is that really all that's important? Giving it all away in one shot?"
Tina didn't look at me, instead becoming increasingly interested in the clouds that rolled and flowed with the wind that ruffled her hair.
"At least it's after gone, you don't have to worry about someone taking it from you."
"Tina..." I whispered.
"Did Matt-"
"No! He didn't.... He didn't rape me Amber. I-I love him. I wanted it just as much as he did."
"Or is that just what he said..? That you wanted it, when really all you wanted was him to stay." I asked her, staring at her with eyes wide with pity.
Tina reached down and grabbed her book bag off of the grass. She tossed her drink onto the ground and stormed off of the grass.
"Why can't you just tell me the truth? You don't have to keep shutting me out!" I shouted after her.
"Stop talking to me." She replied, only walking at a brisker pace.
Tina nervously pulled at her sleeves and rushed her way down the sidewalk.
"Steven..."
I found my voice, reaching for his hand that gripped the fabric of my dress. He had already taken the leather jacket I had on off at the beginning of all of this, so my arms lay bare and exposed. I spotted my pink pumps in the corner of the room; I had tossed them away as soon as I had come back to his house.
"Stop." I whispered, trying to pull his hands off of the dress. He didn't release right away, so I got nervous and kicked him in the balls.
He howled, falling off of the top of me and breathing heavily as he hit the floor.
"What the hell Amber!" He huffed, catching his breath and speaking through clenched teeth.
" I- I just don't want to do that yet." What I had been thinking about saying before all of this came out would have been a lot more confident, but I was tripping over my own words and tired of being silent.
Steven stood up and sat down on the couch beside me. "It's been three months Amber... How long are you going to hold out on me?"
I looked at him; and all of Tina's words came flooding back to me.
She was right.
"That's all it is to you, isn't it? Sex." I hissed, feeling tears burn in my eyes.
Steven stood up, standing above me and looking down. "No...It's not. But I'm sorry I don't want to be abstinent until I get your fathers blessing and a sign from the great father of fertility before we- You know?"
I suddenly felt more exposed then I ever had before in my life, even though I stood in front of him with my dress still on.
"I need to go." Was all I could think to say as a reply, before I grabbed my jacket off the floor and picked up my shoes from their abandoned position in the corner.
There was thunder booming outside, and I didn't have my car, but I knew that walking in the lightning and rain would be better then staying here with him.
"Amber-"
I already made it to the door and started walking towards mainstream; my pink pumps clutched in my hands and a heart heavier then the rain that started pouring down onto my head.
