i'm fine | j.jk

Four

Lately , I've been going to the dance room alone just like the old times just that this time , I feel empty maybe sad or hurt ? I don't know . I don't know how or what to feel in this situations like this .

During our main dance practice , I was isolated from the rest . It was just for a competition that I alone would be going but still . I feel like everyone is just glaring at me , back stabbing me or gossiping about me . I feel like everyone hates me , even Allison .

I keep glancing at the other side of the dance room . They were all just doing physical training and learning techniques in dance . They were given a few water breaks when I had to continue practicing and practicing . My instructor pressured me since the competition is less than a week .

I did everything myself . Learning the choreography , the timing , execution of steps and doing my own choreography for No More Dream . The instructor just had to look at the dance items and help clean my steps up and make a few changes for No More Dream choreography . Other than that , everything is all done . He said that I shouldn't worry since there's still a few more days to spare and that i'm already fully prepared .

The competition will take place privately for the audition meaning only judges are able to see the dance items . But i'm even more anxious performing for finals than the results after audition . Not to be complacent but i'm very sure to get into finals . But there is one part of the No More Dream dance where I have to lift up my shirt and show my abs . And remember earlier , I said that I lack confidence .

After practice , a few of my teammates , my captain , vice-captain and my instructor said that I did a great job and have put in a lot of effort and that I deserve to rest . I just gave them a weak smile since afterwards I have an outside dance lesson .

I was just about to take my bag from the corner of the room and saw Allison rushed out of the room . I don't even want to bother anymore . No matter how many times people say they'd promise they'll stay , they'll leave . I'll remember . I remember everyone that leaves .

I went to the convenience store to go grab a drink . I'm so thirsty but forgot to bring my water bottle . I went in and quickly grab a bottle of ice water . What dragged my time was the long queue . Just as soon as I came out , there were a few so called " cool people " from our school and even from our dance club loitering around the streets . What upset me even more was that I saw Jungkook making out with Allison with my own two eyes . They were all together . He was holding her waist . She was grabbing his hair . He leaned her against the wall as he carried her . Her legs wrapped around his waist .

Tears just started streaming down my cheeks for the fact that I don't even know why i'm sad or hurt . I could feel the painful feeling in my chest . I took heavy deep breaths and constantly wiping my tears . I couldn't bear to watch it happening but I don't know why and I don't like to admit it but the truth is often , I break my own heart by staying in situations , that I know , isn't good for me .

Anger and hurt gave me the courage to yell his name . " Jungkook ! " I screamed .

He turns around having a confused look written all over his face . I walked up to him and slap him . I whispered to him , " if you really care about me , you wouldn't have hurt me "

I began to walk away but he grabbed my wrist with much force . " Let go ! You're hurting me ! "  I whimper . " Jungkook , what are you doing ? " Allison asked . He ignores her , putting more pressure on my wrist .

I feel my wrist burning but endured throughout . I look him straight in the eyes , he looked pissed . Why ? I only told him the truth .

" Since when were we dating ? When did I ever say I love you ? " he asked . I'm speechless . His right . We never dated before . So why should I care .

" If we dated , you wouldn't be able to satisfy me in a sexual way . You're so.. ugly and .. so ughh . I'm tired of you " he whispers so Allison couldn't hear .

" You don't know anything about me or the things I do but if you did , you would stay away from me " he said in a raspy tone .

He lets me go and walked away with Allison whom I think is his new girlfriend . How could've they betrayed me . Not only have my only two people that I considered my bestfriends betrayed me , I humiliated myself in front of those bunch of " cool kids " . I feel so stupid .

why ?? why am I so stupid .