This italic font will represent before. This is only before he attempts. I really hope you enjoy this story
Enjoy!
Before.
A week before..
Seokjin's point of view.
I didn't know what I did wrong. All I do is do my best at doing is being the mom not the Hyung or a member of Bangtan. I was preparing food for the boys and suddenly I saw Taehyung enter, "Good morning Tae, how many pancakes do you want?" I said nicely, he sits down, "I want 4" he said and I nod and served him.
Soon enough the rest of the members enter and I was cleaning while they were having their breakfast, "Hyung, aren't you going to eat?" Yoongi asked me and I shook my head, "I did before you guys woke up" I lied. I went to my room and locked the door. I sighed and let tears fall, that incident. I soon find myself walking to my shaving razor.
After taking the blades carefully, I sliced my wrist, I was writing, 'Rest' and soon I felt very numb and holding the tears, since I practically hurt myself more than the others.. Blood dripping everywhere, I felt unconscious. I shake my head and clean up the blood from the sink to the floor. I wrap my cuts with a bandage and I placed a hoodie, and walked out of mine and Jimin's door.
Everyone left their plates on the table. Except for three of them, washed and dried clean, I was happy that I don't get to wash all of the expensive plates. I pick up the plates making my clean cuts sting and hurt more. I gasped and drop the plates making me jump,
"Aish Seokjin, You never do anything right!" Taehyung yelled. He's right.
"It's easy! All you have to do is carry the plates right and carefully! God, you are nothing good!" He yelled louder. I sighed, "I-im sorry, I will clean this up." I said calmly holding back tears. I don't want them to think I'm a wuss. I picked the broken plates by hand and broomed the left little glass pieces, "I never asked for you to do what I tell you" he said shocked, I shurged and continued to clean.
I left to the dance practice, starving. Needy. Lonely.
We were practicing for a song we sang in Japanese, 'Crystal Snow' it was hard yet easy. I believe... Numerous tries and our perfect dance tutor yelled at me, "Okay everyone leave me and Jin alone." He said with a slight grin, I gulp and swallow hard. Everyone is doing what is told and I was alone with him..
He crosses his arms, "Bad slut. You don't know when to learn." He said and I have my head down, "I'm sorry" I said quietly, "What was that??" He said and I stay quiet. He chuckles as he runs his fingers around my wide shoulders. "Sit on your knees" he says and I softly cry, "Please Don't.." I say and he chuckled, "You are just horrible" he said slapping me hard in the face leaving me with tears streaming and his hand mark, "was that enough to teach your lesson??" He said and I nod crying.
The group entered and soon Hoseok saw my puffy, red eyes, along with my pink hand print on my cheek, "Hyung what happened? What did he do?!" He lowered his voice and I shook my head, "I just hit my self against the wall and it hurt really bad" I chuckled and he shook his head and dragged me to a empty office room, "What happened Jin? You can tell me" he said calmly and I couldn't handle I burst into tears and dropped down, "Don't tell anyone" I croaked.
Yoongi entered and saw, "Hobi, leave us alone please." He said and Jhope left. Suga bend down and hugged me, I felt his embrace and hugged him tightly, "I can't do this anymore" I said and he creased my hair, "No no no don't say that" he said I sobbed and he pulled me apart, "Tell me what happened with SoYung (dance tutor). What did he say or do to you? Was he the one who slapped you?" He said and I nodded slowly hoping he would take notice. But he did." Wait!" I croaked and tried to stop him but it was too late.
I heard yelling and I was terrified, "You're a sick man SoYung! How dare you treat someone like that!" Hoseok yelled, "it's not like he's been treated like that by the others." He spat back and with that I felt a anxiety attack, I fell back and hid in the corner. Tears streaming as I heard the voices in my head.
'Useless fat pig!'
'Now is your time to die. Hurry!'
'Worst singer and visual ever!'
'Youre horrible not handsome'
I cried and sobbed, "Stop!" I said "Stop! Stop! Stop!!" I yelled. I pulled my hair and curled up into a ball, then I felt an embrace, I didn't look at who it was and they hummed to me. I heard their heartbeat and they hummed, 'Spring Day' I just cried and cried, I didn't care who's shirt or sweatshirt it was. I just needed love. I needed to be Awake.
Days passed. I was treated horribly again. But my love for him would never change. Not sure why even though he treated me bad, I wouldn't care. Knowing that my sexuality tells me to follow my heart. I felt it around him. Butterflies flutters and I can't stand myself crying in front of him. But I knew I will have to stop liking him more than me being his Hyung. But I know I was just a boy who meets evil everyday.
