Seokjin's pov
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. So far me and Yoongi haven't said much since we kissed. I still go to therapy, but I studder a little less. I don't know why or how will I decrease the studder-ness, I feel more comfortable with the guys. Kookie, V and I made up and Namjoon was more of the dad which I thought was funny.
I was in the studio and I put my headphones on, singing a song I wrote by heart.
믿
는 게 아냐
버텨보는 거야
할 수 있는 게
나 이것뿐이라서머물고 싶어
더 꿈꾸고 싶어
그래도 말야
떠날 때가 됐는걸
I closed my eyes, hoping that the song will make know who I really am. That I need help. Time and patience to heal about my past. I'm a grown man and I lost my confidence. I don't do what armies called, 'windshield laugh' as much anymore. I lost trust. Most importantly. I lost love to everyone.
Yoongi's pov
I was walking around the studio building until I heard someone singing. I looked to see Jin singing beautifully. I stand behind the door and heard what he was saying,
"Maybe I, I can never fly
저기 저 꽃잎들처럼
날갤 단 것처럼은 안 돼
Maybe I, I can't touch the sky
그래도 손 뻗고 싶어
달려보고 싶어 조금 더"
His voice raised up in some parts. I couldn't help but cry. I write the lyrics but, I never wrote this. Did he... Wrote this by himself?? I never heard anything else coming from that room. I quickly wiped my eyes and knocked, and opened the door, "Hey Seokjinnie" I said and he slightly smiled, "Hey Yoongs." He quietly said, "Your singing your parts?" I asked pretending I didn't hear the song he sang, he nodded happily, "I a-actually wrote a s-song!" He studdered. I found his studdering cute. I nodded and smiled, "Can I hear it?" I asked and he shrugged, "I d-don't know" he said and I nodded and smiled, "I understand hyung. Have you ate? Want to go get something to eat?" I said trying not to make anything awkward. He simply smiled and nodded, soon we went off to go eat. Or a date as I called it.
Seokjin's pov
He talked to me out of nowhere, and I got to say. I was really surprised. We were on our way to go get something to eat and I got to admit. I was starving! Yoongi was holding onto my hand all of a sudden. I looked at him and he let go, "Sorry, I just missed the feeling of your hand" he said chuckling, I shook my head and grabbed his hand, "N-no I do t-too" I said, he smiled, so did I.
After we ate Yoongi and I went to see a movie. We were brave enough well I supposedly was brave enough to watch a horror movie. During the movie there was a jumpscare that scared me, making me hold onto Yoongi's arm. I can feel him smile but I closed my eyes shut and tried to think of potatoes and unicorns. Soon enough I felt a arm around me, "Don't worry. It's just a movie" he said making me feel more comfortable, I couldn't help but smile.
We walked to the mall and bought many clothes, because we needed new ones of course. I soon walked to a store and I was tapped on the shoulder and saw a beautiful woman standing there smiling, "Hey Jin! I'm sorry if you're shopping but do you remember me?" She said and I shook my head, "I'm Dahyun!" Dahyun? "You're ex-girlfriend!" She said.
Yoongi's pov
I was looking for Jin since he always leaves me when I'm looking at stores. It's tiring but I needed to make sure he is alright. I looked everywhere I couldn't find him, I soon was starting to get worried. Walking turned into speed walking. Speed walking turned into running. I yelled his name and I couldn't find him. I looked and saw him in a store with a girl. I run, taking deep breaths, "Jin!" I said and he looked back, "Where the hell have you been? I was waiting for you!" I yelled. He looked down, "I-im sorry" he said and I shook my head, "Hyung, I was fucking worried! Very worried infact I almost called security! If you're going to go somewhere with some girl, then please say and leave." I said and I walked off. I hate my anger issues and what I did was wrong but I don't want to add more pressure to him.
I came home and I was working on the studio, someone knocked and I opened it to find Jimin, he punched me and I punched him back, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Jimin yelled, "Why the fuck would you do that?!" I yelled back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and looks at me dead in the eye, "I'm not afraid of you" he hissed giving a deadly glare. I glared back and pushed him back and closed the door. I placed my palms on my forehead and decided to fall asleep.
I woke up on the same thing on the couch, I woke up with a loud bang. i instantly got up and ran out only to see Jin hanging the noose on the ceiling, i ran to him and tackled him down, "What are you doing?!" i yelled. He sobbed loudly, "My Life Is Over..." is all he said, i quickly carried him and ran to the car and drive to the hospital as fast as i can. he tried to break free, but my strength stopped him. i ran and carried him out of the car and went to the front desk, "i need help right now, my boyfriend was about to attempt suicide." i said quickly and nurses came out taking Jin. he gripped onto me saying, "No, i-i w-want y-y-yoongi!" he yelled and the nurses allowed me to take him in the room and i did. I layed him down onto the bed and called the others to get here quickly.
Soon enough, Jungkook arrived. I showed him the room and he stayed while i checked Jin in. A couple of minutes arrived and the guys arrived. I quietly entered as Jungkook quietly sang to Jin. a part of me, wanted to scream at him. why did he do that? he was just happy before. was that all lies? And what caused him to do that?? Jimin hasn't spoken to me at all. all he does is give me glares. i sigh and go to the convenient store and bought a pack of cigarettes.
i went out and lit on up. i inhaled and exhaled the cigarette until it was becoming smaller and smaller. i got to admit, it was disgusting, but i felt relaxed. i didnt care if paparazzi's or fans took pics outside of a hospital. i needed something to get my mind off things. i didnt want to drink as much, i hated drinking after all. Self harm? i dont think its right to do that. i know im killing myself slowly but seeing someone depressed like i used to be, really hurts me deep. especially since Jin-ah means so much to me. Jealousy and sorrow. i will be willing to help him in every way i did to overcome depression. i just needed him to be loved for once.
Seokjin's pov
I was scared. terrified. suicidal.
Dayhun, brought the man who raped me. i was scared and tried to end conversations. soon enough, i got up and left running from my life as if my time was already up and this creature will devour me and i'd be pronounced missing and dead.
i got home and many thoughts ran through my mind that day. i couldnt feel anymore. i was self harming myself more than ever. i cried a lot and found a rope and decided to tie a noose, I felt like I was alone, I was scared, and Exhausted. I lost all hope in myself. Yoongi found me standing on the small chair and the rope on my neck. I was about to tip the chair until Yoongi pushed me, making me fall backwards. He held onto me, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he yelled, all i could do is sob loudly and feel guilty, "im s-s-sorry" I said but I felt his strong arms carry me, I tried to loose grip which made me yell and scream, making him think I'm crazy. I soon ended up in a hospital. Only Hobi knew what happened. And I demandingly said to him. Not. To. Tell. Anyone. All I could say to them was N.O
Hello guys! i am feeling much better and will try to upload as much as i can to make it up to you! i am also making a youtube channel and will put a, 'try not to sing or dance along' kpop version!! i will upload the link in my future chapters so you can go check it out! i hope you enjoy this story so far! love youuuu!!!!
