your eyes. ;; changlix

.happy

when changbin entered the dance studio, he immediately saw felix, sitting against the wall, his face buried in his hands. the older one dropped the hat in his hands and sat down next to felix. "what's wrong, lix?" but felix didn't give an answer, didn't look up and it worried changbin even more. "yah, felix! can you please look at me?" changbin asked him, he needed to see his face, his eyes. but the younger one completely ignored his presence again. "felix, please. i can't help you if i don't know what's wrong, hm?" changbin tried again, and this time felix actually looked at changbin. felix just looked, tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes red. "happy now?" felix asked, his voice low and raspy and it made changbin sad. "can you please tell hyung what's wrong?"

for a while, felix just stayed quiet. "ugh, hyung. it's so childish, it's nothing." the boy said, wiping his tears with the sleeves of changbin's hoodie, that he was wearing. "no, if you're crying over it, felix, it's certainly not nothing, okay?" changbin tried talking him into saying what was bothering him, he hated the look in the younger's eyes. felix was never a good liar when it came to his feelings. he couldn't hold back when he was happy but he also couldn't when he was sad, his eyes always told the truth. and right now, felix' eyes were pure sadness.

instead of saying anything, the younger got up and gave changbin a paper, lyrics written on it. it was a mess from crossed out words, red pen that drew lines to new words that fit better and felix' bad handwriting. the older took a look at it, but couldn't understand what felix' problem was. "what's with this, lix?" he asked. still not saying anything, felix pointed at a line that he wrote. changbin read it three times until he understood what was bothering the boy. "felix...is it because you can't pronounce it?" changbin asked and the younger one nodded, eyes looking at his own feet, since he was still standing up. changbin nodded too, threw the paper on the ground and hugged felix. "that's not childish, lix lix. okay? you can just tell the hyungs, if you're stressed because of that, okay? no one will laugh at you." and if they do, i'm gonna beat them up, changbin thought to himself. "but...hyung! i've been here for...almost 7 years now!" felix complained, hands grabbing changbin's shirt. "so?" the older asked, pushing felix away so that he could look him in the eyes. "what do you mean so? i should be able to pronounce everything now, shouldn't i?!" felix said. changbin shook his head, both his hands on felix' shoulders.

"lix. yes, 7 years is a long time, but you came here when you could barely say one full sentence without making mistakes. everything was hard for you back then, right?" felix nodded, "you get what i'm trying to say, right felix? you've gotten so good at korean, that no one questions it anymore. in 7 years you learned a completely new language perfectly. so if you can't pronounce something sometimes or it's hard for you to remember a word, that's okay, felix-ah. okay? as i said, no one is going to laugh at you. no one." the older tried to tell felix, he nodded, hugged changbin one more time, before he picked up the paper and changbin's hat.

[ time skip ]
it was almost 5am and changbin was still sitting on felix bed, cuddling with the younger boy. "lix lix, it's super late, don't you wanna sleep? you need to sleep." changbin's voice was low, quiet. the boy nodded with his head lying in the older's lap while changbin was playing with felix hair. he smiled warmly at the younger one, before felix closed his eyes. after 10 minutes felix was asleep and changbin stood up, replacing his lap with a pillow that he grabbed from his own bed. he sat down at the desk in their room, pulling out the paper with felix lyrics on it. he looked at the line felix struggled with, before taking a pen and replacing some words here and there, making it easier for the australian to pronounce. he smiled to himself, put the paper to where he took it from. he turned around, looking at felix for a while.

he even looks beautiful when he's sleeping. how is he an actual human being?

changbin shook his head, got up and left their room, leaving felix alone.

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— i fucking hate this chapter.