Eleven

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Song: Everybody Gets High (Explicit) - MISSIO

[A/N]: That moment when you find the best song ever and write a chapter around it so you can actually use it. <3

Naida was humming as she went through the closet already dressed in her own Saddaim celebration outfit.

Black and silver were the colors of the evening.

It covered her from head to toe, from the shoes she wore to the silver pieces pinched in her hair. She wore a figure-hugging dress, strapless and short showing her glowing legs. Even her makeup was black and silver accenting her golden brown eyes.

I heard her excited cry from the closet. "I found something!"

The dress was instantly on me, hugging every curve of my body leaving nothing to the imagination. "Too short, Naida!" I tugged at the dress, willing it to cover five more inches of my legs.

She tsked. "Fine. How about this one?"

The dress was longer and went to about my knees. The back was exposed with a plunging neckline showing a bit more cleavage than I was used to. "Um..."

She appeared next to me. "Great! Um is not a no!"

"Not exactly."

She sat me down in front of her vanity, taking off the pillowcase I'd put on the mirror. "What is this for?"

I didn't even look at the mirror as it reflected back. "I can't stand to look at myself."

She looked at me, puzzled.

"Do you know what its like to look a certain way your entire life and then all of a sudden change? And even then - change the way Robyn forced me to. Change to something that can be used as a weapon. I see myself and I don't. I see my eyes - they're the same ... but my skin, my hair - everything else." I looked at her. "I'm not me."

She smiled kindly. "Maybe one day you will accept yourself." A small silver mask appeared in her hand and she placed it on my face. "Tonight, we'll glamour." I watched her smile as her eyes followed her fingers as she tied the mask behind my head with the black silk strings. "The beauty of Saddaim is that we get to pretend to be someone else, we lose ourselves in magic, we share it with one another." She smiled and her eyes shifted to the mirror I was avoiding. "Take a look."

I looked at my reflection and held back a gasp. My hair was still that obnoxious silver but pin straight with black streaks. Somehow it matched the simple cat eye makeup around my brown eyes. Red lipstick finished my make up off. The silver mask was small, similar to a Venetian mask that covered the nose, cheeks and eyes. The silver patterns were intricate and extended far out on either side with a small stone in the middle on the top.

It was beautiful.

But it wasn't just the makeup and the dress and the mask that held my attention. I never truly cared about those things -it was me. I looked a little more myself.

While I could do nothing about the perfect complexion, I could see my cheeks had slightly filled out, no longer hollow. My collarbone was no longer as pronounced as before it didn't jut out of my neck and chest.

I was gaining weight in the small time that I was in Julian's estate.

Gods, I didn't even recognize myself before. How far had I strayed?

Naida didn't seem to notice my pause. "It's a sacred holiday, we celebrate what we are - what we can be." She squeezed my shoulders as she watched me in the mirror. "More than anything, we have fun. Get yourself lost in the music, in the rituals. The magic of the Underworld is heightened. It's quite breathtaking." I watched a crease form on her eyebrows. "You may feel a bit different - just be sure to stay with me."

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