(2) Katnis Swan: Moved On?

Chapter 25: Some Truth

Throughout the  rest of the week, the entire school wouldn't stop staring and whispering about the Cullen's and  questioning how Katnis felt about them being back. 

"For crying out loud, back the hell off, okay? " Katnis groaned and turned to look around to look at the groups of girls who'd just asked her the same question someone just asked her five minutes ago. "It is none of your business how I feel about them being back. They're here,  there's nothing I can do about that, so deal with it," she slammed her locker closed,  causing them to jump back. "Now leave me the hell alone before I make you eat each others greasy hair like spaghetti." she hissed and walked away. 

"Hey -"

"Back off!" Katnis hissed and turned around only to take a big breath when she noticed that it was Bella. "Bella, hey, I'm sorry."

Bella raised a brow. "What's wrong?"

"Everyone keeps asking me how I feel about them being back in Forks and it's getting on my very last nerve, Bella," she ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm about three seconds away from making everyone, in this entire school, take a vow of silence for the rest of the school year."

Bella chuckled. "As peaceful as that sounds, that wouldn't be such a good idea.  It would only get the town talking."

Katnis shrugged. "And? They're teenagers.  The towns adults would only think they're in their rebellious stage."

Bella shook her head. "You've already thought this through haven't you?"

Katnis nodded. "I had too. It's my very last option out of three."

"And what's the first and second option?"

Katnis smiled. "Making them eat each others hair or making them eat the worms from chemistry class." she chuckled.

Bella's face twisted up in disgust. "I'd rather take the vow of silence."

"I bet you would."

Bella then took her sisters arm and they headed to class. "So, I have to ask, how do you feel about them being back?"

Katnis groaned. "Isabella."

"Look, I'm sorry, but you're my sister and I know how hard it was on you when he left.  So, answer the question or I'll just keep asking."

Katnis rolled her eyes and sighed. "I honestly don't know how I feel. Okay, no, that's a lie, I do know how I feel."

"Which is?"

Katnis pulled her to a stop in front of the janitors closet. "I would be lying if I said a part of me, the part of me that he broke,  the part of me that he took with him when he left, didn't miss him and wasn't happy to see him because that part of me does," she said softly. "Her heart still terms for him, to be loved by him again."

"But the other part?"

"But the other part of me, the realest part of me, the angry,  hurt and betrayed past of me, hates his face. She hates the sound of his voice, his smell, the color of his eyes,  and even his name," she balled her fists. "She wants to smash his face into her locker until his face was perminently imprinted into it. She wants to scream and yell at him for leaving her, for walking away, just when she'd started to trust and love him." she said, her breathing fast.

Bella placed a hand on her shoulder. "Breathe, Katnis."

Katnis glared down at her feet for a moment then looked up at her sister with sad eyes. "Am I weak for still loving him, for wanting to know why he could just up and leave me like I was nothing, like it was the easiest decision he'd ever made?"

Bella widened her eyes then pulled her into her arms. "Oh Katnis, no.  That doesn't make you weak. It makes you human."

Katnis hugged her back but chuckled. "We both know I'm something a bit more complicated than human," she slowly drew back and met Bella's gaze with a deep sigh. "I just - I need to know why I wasn't enough for him to stay."

Bella caressed the side of her face then moved a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You are definitely enough."

"Then why didn't he stay?"

Bella ssighedthen shrugged. "Maybe he was the one that wasn't enough. Maybe he thought he wasn't enough for you."

Katnis nodded. "You do know that,  that night when he said I wasn't good for him, he was only saying that to make me hate him, right? He wanted me to hate him so that it would make it hurt less, for me, when he left."

Bella shrugged. "I don't care what the hell he meant to do or say, he hurt you, and that's not okay with me."

Katnis chuckled. "Wow.  I don't think I've ever hear you curse before, Bella," she said. "Sounds weird but cute."

Bella raised a brow. "Cute?"

"Yeah. You've just always been so...you.  I've never heard you use any foul language before. You're growing out of your shell and into a big girl, now."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Shut up and let's get to class."

*******

Edward and his siblings sat at their old table and occasionally stole quick glances of Katnis. They heard her conversation with Bella and, if they were being honest, they were shocked by what she'd said. More like Edward was shocked. He knew that she said a a part of her still cared for him but he had no idea that, that part of her loved him despite everything that's happened.

The thing that shocked the rest of them was what she said she wanted to do with his face.  She sounded so violent and full of hate.

"So, this is going to be a bit harder than I thought, Emmett said. "With her wanting to smash your face in, and hating everything that is Edward Cullen, it's going to be hard to get on her good side again, even with a part of her still loving you."

Edward shook his head. "You should really let this go, Emmett,  for Katnis's sake. Let her live her life with as much normalcy as she can."

"We all know that Katnis is far from normal, Edward," said Alice. "We witnessed her powers first hand in Italy."

"I know that but I want her to live the life she deserves, not a life full of dangers she never knew existed up until a year and a half ago," he said softly. "She doesn't deserve to have us interfering in her life anymore."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and groaned. "You know what, you are seriously getting on my damn nerves with this self pity crap," she pushed to her feet and glared down at him, eating the attention of the cafeteria. "You are what you are. The day you come to terms with that fact, that you accept it, the happier you'll be. U till then, you can remain miserable by yourself." she snapped and exited the cafeteria relight the doors leading out into the parkinglot.

Emmett sighed. "I'll go get her."

Edward sighed. "She's right. None of you should have to suffer through my issues about how I feel about what I am."

Alice rolled her eyes and waved Rosalie off. "Don't no d her,  Edward, she's just PMS-ing."

"She's a vampire, Alice, she can no longer -"

"I know,  I know,  but you know what I mean. Rosalie is just being Rosalie. Don't pay her any mind."

"It's hard not to when I can still hear her thoughts," he chuckled humorlessly. "But I'll try."