(2) Katnis Swan: Moved On?

Chapter 31: Genuinely Sorry

It's been almost two weeks since Katnis visited the Cullen's, forgave Cullen and distanced herself from Peeta and things have been...okay. She and the Cullen family weren't best friends again but she spoke to them whenever they spoke to her and she no longer felt betrayed by them. She knew they only left to honor their brothers request, so how could she blame them for that?

As for things with Peeta, well, they're slightly still rocky. She cared deeply for him but the fact that he could really think she'd hurt him the way he  thought she could, hurt her more than she'd like to admit. The fact that he saw her as someone who would use him until she no longer needed him was like a punch to the face. She understood that he was worried that there could be a possibility that, upon Cullen's return, Cullen would want to fight for her but for him to assume that she'd drop him like a heavy load is not something she will ever understand. 

"Katnis?"

Katnis, sitting under a tree outside the school with Emmett and Rosalie, looked up and met the gaze of one of the guys she was torn between.

Damon 'Peeta' Bennett.

She swallowed. "Yes?"

"Can we talk...alone?" he asked, casting Emmett and Rosalie quick glances.

The two vampires almost smiled at his question. They would hear everything since they didn't have the same hearing as humans but much better hearing.

Katnis looked at Emmett and Rosalie. "Could you give us a moment alone?"

Emmett shook his head and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Nope."

Katnis raised a brow at him. "No?"

"You heard me, Swan. No."

Okay.  Would you like for me to make you leave, Emmett or would you like to leave voluntarily?" she asked.

Emmett raised a brow. "You wouldn't dare."

"Do you want to find out?" she asked.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and pushed to her feet. "Come on, my muscle man.  Let's give these two some privacy."

Emmett groaned and jumped to his feet. "This isn't over, Swan." he then shot Peeta a glare. "I'll be watching you pipsqueak."

Peeta took a step back as the two vampires moved passed him. "Is he always like that?" he asked Katnis.

"Emmett's not mean he's just...protective." she said. 

"He hates me."

"No, he just doesn't - he's not very fond of you. He doesn't hate you." she stated softly as she moved to get on her feet.

Peeta, after a moment stepped forward while filling with his fingers. "Katnis, I - I'm sorry for the things I said a few weeks ago. I didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel like you were this cold hearted person who would use someone." he stated.  "I like you so much that I guess I was just afraid that I was going to lose you to Edward. I thought I had no chance against him."

Katnis swallowed.

"You've been through a lot already and me saying what I said didn't make anything better and I'm sorry.  I really wish I could take back what I said." he said.

Katnis took a big breath and let it out. She appreciate his apology and the fact that he recognized that he was wrong for what he said about her.

"Thank you, Peeta.  I really appreciate your apology and your honesty." she said softly. "And I do accept it."

"Thank you. I'm so happy to hear that." he said.

"Look, I know you're wondering if things between us can go back to where they were before," Katnis stated. "And if I'm honest, so do I, but I need to be honest with you before things go any further."

Peeta swallowed. "Okay."

"I care about you, Peeta, deeply. My feelings for you are genuine and real and I don't regret a minute of our time together." she stated truthfully. "But as true as my feelings for you are, I still love Cullen. He was the reason I was able to trust myself again, the reason I was able to trust the ones I care about enough to open up to them about what I was going through. He helped me find myself again."

Peeta took in a breath. "Oh."

"And after all that, he hurt me, bad. He broke my heart and for a long time, I couldn't bring myself to forgive him for what he did.  Mainly because I was being g stubborn but also because he lied to me." she said softly.  "And then I started spending time with you and slowly but surely I found myself falling in like with you.  I started to smile again and not think about my broken heart every minute of everyday. You helped piece the prices of my heart back together and for that I will forever be grateful." she said and took his hand.

Peeta smiled at her and squeezed her hand. "I really helped mend your broken heart?"

Katnis smiled and nodded. "Yes, you did. You made me happy again." her smile fell slightly. "And as much as I want things to go back to normal, I'm not sure they can."

"Why not? Is it because you still love Cullen?" he asked, looking down at their hands. 

Katnis nodded.

"Yes.  It's not fair for me to tell you that things can go back to how they were before when I know that my feelings for Cullen are still burning inside me." she stated. "You deserve someone who will only want you, who can only love you and who will only be committed to you. Not someone who's all screwed up in the head."

Peeta lifted his free hand to her cheek and smiled at her. "You are not screwed up in the head,  Katnis. You've been through more in your life than any one your age, or in life,  should have to go through. No one can blame you for being distant or wanting to figure out how you feel." he stated.

"You don't hate me for this?" she asked.

Peeta chuckled. "Of course I don't hate you. You're being honest with me instead of leading me on, like some people would do, in order to spare my feelings. I'd prefer for you to be honest with me than to be with me out of guilt." he stated. "Our time together was great and genuine. I could never hate someone who helped me not to be afraid to be myself. You saved me Katnis, in more ways than you think. How can I hate your that?"

Katnis took a breath. "Do you believe we can be friends from this point on?" she asked.

Peeta chuckled but nodded. "Definitely.  We were friends before we were anything else."

With a smile, Katnis kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you. I'm glad we can remain friends after all of this."

Peeta wrapped her in his arms. "So am I."