Faults ~Levi x Reader AU~

Chapter 2: A or B

"What are you gonna do now?" Hanji asked, breathing out a sigh of exhaustion, those bronzy eyes of hers locked on me. "Ya know since ya won't tell shorty and all."

I played with my fingers and shrugged, "I'm...I'm not sure yet. It's still sinking in, really." I laughed half-heartedly, "It's all strange. I mean, really strange." I brought my stare to hers and chuckled, "Isn't it? Me...me pregnant. It's crazy, right?"

I could feel an emotional bolder weighing down on me as my eyes became glossed over by forming tears. A thick pressure tugged at my chest, a painful twinge jabbing me as my breath became hitched in my throat. My limbs began to tremble in response to the emotional crash that was quickly approaching, my mental state snapping more and more with each passing second. I was breaking...I was breaking into a million different little pieces.

"It's all just so crazy, isn't it, Hanji?" I asked, my voice hoarse from the lump in my throat. Our gazes locked, the tears beginning to trickle down my flushed cheeks. "It just all feels so unreal. So, so unreal." My voice began to fade in and out of range, more tears rolling down from my eyes. At that, the floodgate broke as I sobbed, "Why? Why am I so alone, Hanji? Why I am always abandoned?"

Hanji quickly wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close to her. She gingerly stroked my hair, attempting to soothe me as she rocked us back and forth. I felt so broken and so alone at that moment. I was absolutely petrified about my unknown future. I honestly didn't even know the first thing about motherhood or children in general. I never understood how mothers just knew what cry meant what or how they became so bonded to a little human before they even met them. And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

My brain was flash forwarding to all the sleepless nights I'd try to sing a wailing infant back to slumber. Images of scattered toys littering the floor and piles of laundry filled my mind, both fueling my terror. But, my overactive imagination didn't just stop there. Visions of a baby created through both mine and Levi's genes blending so beautifully growing from a helpless infant to a rowdy toddler to a cheerful child and so on overtook me. I began to see many birthdays ahead of me, some with friends gathered around while others were just the two of us. The only common variable being there was no father. No Levi there to celebrate alongside us. Out of everything that flashed through my mind, that was what hurt the worst.

All the birthdays that he or she would spend without their father in the picture.

That was what broke my heart the most, but I was far too convinced I was making the right decision. Levi made it clear that he was done with me, that he never wanted to break our student-teacher relationship again. I doubted me being pregnant would change that. If anything, that would have only fed into his hatred for me. So, it was pointless to tell him anything.

"Hey," Hanji spoke softly, gently pulling me away from her. "You're not alone in this, okay? Freckles and I are both here for ya."

I rubbed my eye and nodded, "Y-yeah. Y-you're right. But...but I just...I just feel so...so -"

"Alone?" she finished, placing her palm against my back to comfort me. I nodded in response and she sighed, "Listen, Y/N. I know you're scared -we both know you're scared. Anybody in this situation would be terrified and rightfully so." She wiped one of my tears away and smiled warmly, "So, cry, scream, shout. Just let it all out. Just cry until your heart's content, but remember we're here for ya."

"Thank you, Hanji," I sniffled, burying my face in her shoulder.

***

"Here," Marco smiled, passing me a steaming bowl of soup. "This will help ya feel better."

He plopped down onto the floor, sipping on his own bowl of soup. The three of us sat in silence, both Hanji and Marco each slurping on their soups. I stared blankly at mine, my reflection staring back at me from my steaming bowl. My eyes were swollen and puffy behind my glasses from all the crying, my long h/c hair pulled back into a sloppy bun, the loose strains falling to the sides of my face. My lips were slightly chapped, my complexion pale from having felt so down. I was nothing grand to look at all, but I didn't care. I felt like shit, so my appearance was the projection of that.

I took a small sip of the warm liquid, swallowing it and allowing it to fall down to my stomach. It settled, filling my body with warmth until I felt my gut flip. My typical favorite soup was making me feel sick to my stomach, prompting me to set my bowl on the table and hug the large pillow to my gut. All the while, I could feel Hanji and Marco's stares burning into me.

"Ya okay there?" Hanji asked, lowering her spoon back into her bowl.

"D-did I get the wrong soup?" Marco stuttered, glancing at my abandoned bowl and back at me. "Do you want me to go back and get you something else?"

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. Just an upset stomach is all."

"Here," Hanji hurried, tossing me a pack of crackers. "Saltines will help to settle it. It's probably just from your nerves."

"Or from being pregnant," I sighed, taking the pack from her. "Thanks."

I nibbled on one of the salty crackers, relieved to not be fighting my gut. I continued to munch on the crackers, each bite helping to ease my stomach. In all honesty, it was nice. I was able to stomach something even though it wasn't much. It was nice.

"So," Hanji began, finishing off her soupy meal. "I know you don't want shorty to know, but what are you gonna do?"

I knitted my brows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

She sucked in her cheeks and sighed, "Well, ya know. Like, are you gonna go through with the pregnancy or -"

"An abortion?" Marco choked, glancing from Hanji and to me. "Please tell me that you're not seriously considering that, Y/N."

I lowered my eyes to the floor and chewed my lips. I honestly didn't even know what to do. If I went through with the pregnancy, what would my life be like? Would I be happy? Miserable? Would I even be able to bond with and love the child I had accidentally created with a man who hated my guts? Then again, would I have been any happier with an abortion? To know that I willingly and decisively chose to end another human's life. I truthfully had no idea.

I shrugged numbly, "I...I don't know. I mean, if I aborted it, then I wouldn't need to worry about Levi finding out. But..." My voice trailed off, the reality almost hammering down on me. "I don't know if I could handle the guilt."

"Fair enough," Hanji nodded, resting her chin on her balled fist.

The color drained from Marco's face as he panicked, "Y/N, please. I know I have no right here, but please...please consider going through with it all." He climbed to his knees. "Please, don't end an innocent life."

**Ello my lovelies! Kinda a serious chapter, but yeah. I hope y'all liked it. If so, y'all know the drill! And thank you so much for all the support! Wuv yous! <3**

-Noel Ross