Faults ~Levi x Reader AU~

Chapter 27: Rescuer

I couldn't help but stare at my closed bedroom door, trapped under its trance. There was something menacing about it. The way the dim light tried to chase away the evening shadows that danced across it was depressingly eerie. Too eerie even. The very sight of that wooden barrier sent chills up and down my spine and twisted my stomach into a knot. It was all unpleasant.

"What happened in those three days?" I asked myself, my eyes never leaving the door. "What did Andy do to me?" I clenched one of my hands into a fist, holding it close to my chest. "Did...did he have his way with me? Fuck! Why can't I remember anything? It's all hazy."

Frustration overwhelmed me, stirring my emotions. I was every bit of anxious and distraught. I couldn't remember much that happened within those few days, but the image of Andy's dark smile did flash through my mind. It sent shivers darting up the length of my spine and goosebumps raising on my arms. But, to be honest, though I claimed I wanted to remember, I knew that was a lie. I was petrified to have the memories resurface, but I knew I needed them. I needed them to put Andy away for good. I needed them to protect other women who may have fallen victim to him.

Anxious, I waddled closer to the door, breathing in a hefty breath before pushing it open. The old hinges squealed from the gentle shove, intensifying the dread flowing through my veins. The room was dark, only the faint evening gleam trickling in, filtering through my curtains. Everything told me not to go in, but I ignored those harrowing pleads. I flipped on the switch and glanced around, taking in my room.

Everything was how I had abandoned it. Besides venturing in there occasionally for clothes, I didn't even bother with the room. I was too scared to. Horrible thoughts crossed my mind whenever I lingered in there too long. Thoughts of Andy hovering over me, his twisted lips pulled up into a sadistic smirk, those black eyes staring deep into my soul. It was all horrible and terrifying -it was hell. But I had to revisit my hell.

I shuffled over to my bed, my fingers gliding over my stripped mattress. It felt so cold and empty to me, like I had never occupied it -like it had never been used. When was the last time I slept here? I pondered, my stare turning to the rest of my room. It was like a foreign world to me. It was strangely familiar, but all so distant at the same time. I couldn't explain it no matter how hard I tried...though I was far too terrified to dig too far in depth.

I continued around my room, my eyes scanning the walls which surrounded me. They were arrayed with posters sporting MRU colors and mascot, various kpop groups I stanned (or whatever :)), and random little photos of things I found beautiful. It was all frozen in time from me not having updated any decorations or décor since before the whole Andy ordeal. It was all the same, nothing changed or different. Nothing progressing.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I wasn't progressing. Yes, I was doing well in my classes, balancing my friends and private life, and was what I believed to be moving on. But, that was the catch. I had placed a mental barrier around what had happened those days. I made no progress in tackling those issues which remained as residuals of my encounter with Andy. I buried them deep in the depth of my mind, not daring to even glance at them...too scared to even remotely consider searching them. After all, what good would that reap? Putting him away. I assured myself. Protect the next woman.

I inhaled sharply through my nose and sat at the foot of my mattress, sliding my glasses back up on the ridge of my nose as I breathed, "Okay. I can do this. Concentrate, Y/N. Concentrate."

I pulled my legs up onto the bed with me and crossed them, doing my best to ease my mind into a meditation, hoping to awaken the sleeping memories locked deep within myself. I focused on my breathing, drawing in heavy breaths through my nose before exhaling through my mouth. With each inhale and exhalation I made, my limbs grew heavier and heavier, my body growing consumed by my meditative state. Before long, the walls which encased the images of those three days crumbled down, giving the suppressed memories full range to roam.