One Last Rose

Chapter 6 - Closed Hearts

Keith's pov:

November was coming and with the days the temperature was getting colder. It had been two weeks since the rose and nobody claimed the action. I think I got over it, but not over Damon.

Yet it felt like with the temperature my heart went colder. I noticed I was starting to shut people out. I nearly talked to my mother or Damon and I avoided any other contact with people.

I knew my mom was worried about me, but I think she let me be because on Monday it would be the day my father passed. Every year around this time and his birthday, my depression almost consumed me.

I missed him, I missed him so much. He had been my example, my best friend and he had the best advice. My mom was the sweetest and she tried her best to keep our little family together.

But I missed him and thinking about him made me wanna crawl away in a hole and die. How would he have looked like nowadays? Would he have liked Damon the way mom did?

I wished I could ask his advice. I wish I could prank my mom with him again. I wished I could laugh with him, hear his voice again. I would sell my soul to the devil if I could look him in the eyes one last time, to hear him say that he was proud of me and that he loved me.

I laid in bed, it was Mondaymorning and I couldn't get out. In wanted to, but my legs, my whole body wouldn't listen to me. I held on tight to my blanket. I saw the stains appear, but I din't feel the tears. I felt nothing but this huge hole that sucked everything out of me and only sadness remained.

"Keith?" My mom knocked and came in. As soon as she saw me her face dropped and she walked towards me. "I'll call school." She said sitting on my bedside. I nodded and she pulled me in her arms.

We sat in silence, just holding each other, knowing how the other one felt. After a while my mom planted a kiss on my forehead and left me alone to tell school I wouldn't be coming.

Would Damon mind me not coming to school? Would he think about me? I sobbed and covered my face in my hands. I was a mess.

I didn't eat and I didn't drink for the rest of the day. I just hid myself for the world, wishing to see my father. I didn't talk to my mom and I didn't text Damon. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to rot away in my room so the world wouldn't have to deal with such a worthless piece of shit.

I drew myself, locked in a cage, falling from a cliff, surrounded by darkness and many other drawings. Everything was black and, just like my world, covered in darkness.

On Tuesday my mom forced me to eat something and drink a glass of water. To be honest I was hungry nor thirsty, they were feelings and I felt nothing. Everything was numb.

I was hidden in a corner of the room when she walked in. "Damon is here for you." My heart beated a bit faster, but along with that I felt a pain in my chest. "Send him away." I whispered. Her face was drawn with sadness as she turned around and when the door closed I cried silent tears.

At night everything was ten times worse. I dreamt about my dad, which wasn't unusual, but in my current state I would scream for him and beg him to take me with him. It caused my mom to hurry over to me and hold me tight until I woke up.

At Wednesday my troath felt sore from screaming and rage settled in. It was what I'd like to call the Second Phase. I had sudden urges to scream and beated up pillows, trying not to break things. I threw with random stuff and slammed my head against my desk, bed or wall, causing me to have several humps and a killing headache. My mother was at work, but I could not keep it a secret.

When she got home I was sitting on the couch watching tv with an icepack and without a word she sat next to me and held my hand. The worst was over but I knew I wouldn't be able to go to school the next couple of days.