Chapter 1

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The crime rate in South Park has gone up and the police are too stupid to fix it this time. Or any time to be fair. Banks are now dirt dry from the constant robberies, a few Jerseys are running around and causing problems, Trump is still president, it is hectic.


Kenny McCormick sat at home, staring out the window of his bedroom. He watched as an old women gets mugged on the street outside, when he suddenly heard his phone buzz. When he checks his phone he sees that it is Eric Cartman texting him. Ken, there's a lot of crime happening. I bet you know already. You remember how it was back in 4th grade? It's just like that. You know anything? Kenny sighed, thinking back to 4th grade. He stared at the phone for a second longer, then typed quickly: Yeah, it is similar. We should do something, the cops aren't doing jack shit.

After a short pause, another text appeared. I got a plan, come to the Coon Lair. I'll get anyone else who can help, just see about getting Karen here too. Kenny stared at his phone, imagining Cartman messaging all there old friends to meet at his house. He stands, looking at his bedroom door, contemplating whether or not to get Karen involved. Kenny sighed again. He knew she could handle it. He walked out of his room to Karen's. He knocked lightly on the door, slowly opening it and peeking in. "Karen, can I talk to you for a sec?"

As Kenny peered in, he saw Karen sitting on the floor. She was attempting to scrub off the drawings on the wall, but to no avail: the crayon seemed to be permanent. "Huh? What is it?" She asked, turning her entire body to face him.

"Well, uh," Kenny started, leaning against the door frame, "I'm sure you've seen all about the crime rates on the news."

"Yes, I have."

"Well, because of it, my friends and I have decided that we are going to play superheros again like we did in 4th grade. You remember Mysterion, right?" He began to fiddle with his hood, which laid limply on his shoulders.

"My guardian angel?" Her eyes brightened at hearing Mysterion. "I miss him. Will I get to see him again if you guys play your game?"

"Yes, Karen, you will."

"Yay! I'm in!" Karen jumped up and ran to her dresser, beginning her search for something to wear. Kenny smiled as he stood back upright. "
"Alright, Karen, get ready and I'll wait for you in the living room." Before he went to the living room, he stopped in his room, putting on his costume quickly. As he walked to the living room, he cleared his throat. He needed to make sure he could speak using his deeper voice, which was thankfully not as difficult now that he was older. He sat down on the couch and looked out the window as he waited.

A few minutes later, Karen entered the living room with a hastily put-on outfit. Kenny stood up and gave a small smile. "Here, why don't I help you make a legitimate costume?" Kenny didn't want to put her in danger, but he knew she could help. Karen smiled brightly and nodded. As they went back to Karen's room, Kenny couldn't help but wonder how it was going at the Coon Lair.


Marie Ann Dilanzi was shoved slightly as people tried to run past her away from some sort of fight. "Ah!" She exclaimed, rubbing her arm. She couldn't blame them, though. South Park had become too dangerous to not have panicked citizens. As she continues walking, she feels her phone buzz in her pocket. She looks at her phone and reads Cartman's message. She sighs before taking off towards her house. She gets changed into her costume and runs at top speed to Cartman's house.


Tweek Tweak, like Kenny, was sitting in his room and staring out the window when he got the message. He heard his phone vibrate as he sat on his bed drinking coffee, startling at the sound. He read Cartman's text and hurriedly replied: Okay, I got it! I'll be there! Tweek quickly changed into his Wonder Tweek costume and rushed out onto the street to Cartman's.


Craig Tucker sat on the edge of his bed, going through missed notifications on his phone. As he scrolled through them, he received the text from Cartman. As he read the text, he stood and walked over to his closet. I'm on my way. "Fucking fatass," he muttered as he taped his S paper to his jacket. He left his house quickly, making his way to the Coon Lair.


Butters Stotch sighed as he doodled in his sketchbook. He knew of the crime that had been going on, but he didn't really want to get involved. Not this time. Sometime between 4th grade and then, he had become home schooled. Too many problems, the reason why remaining a secret. He let out a heavy sigh and got up, walking to his closet and opening it. He spotted his Professor Chaos helmet laying on the floor, bringing an idea to his head.

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