The Teddy Bear

17. Shit Lord

⭐️Sofia⭐️

"Hue hue hue." I laughed.

"Oh c'mon guys, she's harmless." Josh reassured looking around at my wide eyed friends.

They all traded looks, "Then you go first."

"Fine. Go ahead."

"I dare you to rub shit all over your pants, go over to Sheila's house and ask her if she can lend you some pants." I grinned.

"And where am I supposed to get shit from?"

"I don't know, this is a hospital, get some old man's poo or something."

"That's disgusting."

"I said shit so you will rub shit on those pants, got it?"

"Ha shit lord!" Lauren laughed.

I chuckled, "And you're going with him to record him."

Lauren frowned.

•••

💥Lauren💥

"This is all your fault!" I exclaimed.

"I'm sorry but last I checked you're not the one rubbing some elder's poo all over their pants."

"Whatever, do what you need to do shit lord." I said pulling out my phone.

Josh opened the door to a the hospital room next to Sofi's. Supposedly some old man had been here earlier but left a couple of hours ago. So maybe there was still something lying around that Joshua could rub on his pants.

He turned on the lights. I then spotted a clear bag..full of urine.

"Why the fuck did the nurse not clean this room up?"

"I don't know and I don't care, now get to it Joshy boy."

"But Sofi said poo."

"But this is the closest thing to it."

"Ugh fine."

I started recording as he opened up the clear bag. And so the smell of urine was released. I pinched my nose close and Josh pulled his shirt over his nose. He then spilled half of the bag on one leg and the remaining pee on the other.

"Dude we're definitely not getting any of this on my car."

"Then how are we supposed to get to Sheila's house?"

I then had an idea. And so off we went to the bike rental across the street.

•••

"Are we almost there?" Josh asked.

"Uh I think." I said screeching to a stop.

Josh walked up to the door and knocked, "Could you lend me some pants?"

But instead a 6 foot tall man with red hair and a red luscious beard opened the door, "What the actual fuck."

"I'm so sorry sir."

"Do you need some pants son?"

"Um well yeah but the thing is-"

"Now now come in."

I tried to stifle a laugh. This is even better than asking Sheila for pants.

"My name's Mason, and I work at a clothing factory." Said the red head.

"Sometimes I take home scraps and when I get bored I make new pieces of clothing, such as pants." Mason said holding up a pair of pants.

He held a pair against Josh, "I think these should fit you, try them on, changing room is right around the corner."

Josh walked around the corner and returned 5 minutes later.

"Thank you." Josh mumbled.

Mason held his face about 3 inches from his face, "Hm?"

"Thank you." Josh said speaking a couple of times louder.

"We'll be on our way." I said heading out the door. Josh followed behind.

"Sofi is probably gonna make you re-do it." I said getting onto the bike.

Josh groaned as we biked our way back to the hospital.