March 8 reads:
For the first time, I don’t know what to write. My thoughts and my feelings have no direction. It’s like they’re scattered everywhere. She does something different to me. I am never like this before. I can’t even find the right words considering I am a writer. What are you doing to me? #WeirdFeeling
*****
Things a happy moon should do:
1. Smile!
2. Eat right
3. Get 10 hours of sleep
4. Exercise to keep the curves *wink2*
5. Water the plants. It makes mother earth smile J
6. Sing or hum a happy tune
7. Think positive! (+)
8. Take time to look at the sky
9. Pray to God J He knows you better than I do
10. Remember, I’m always here…no matter what!
-March 9
I smiled at the brown note I just wrote. I know it’s a simple thing, but I hope that she’ll keep the list. I can be bossy at times, but in fact I can’t keep my ways straight. My oversized yellow phone beeped and to my surprise, she loved it. And she said she’ll definitely keep it. I missed her already, but I chose not to tell her cause I might sound needy. And needy girls can be..uhmm. I dunno, scary? She ended up asking me if I want to watch the movie 300. I let out a half-smile-half-laugh on my face. Why do we really have that taste for movies- the ones that are bloody and a bit man-ly. She used to tell me that “She is the man”.
Well ,she is my girl. Soon. I told myself. I was being too high, and overconfident.
********
Moodswings. Why are women cursed with that kind of nature? Like, why do we have to be so happy one sec, then miserable for an hour. This sucks. I think men deserve the same. Or maybe they could atleast suffer for a day, so that they’ll know how horrible it is to change your underwear more than thrice. Or to ask your friend, “hey, am I leaking?”
Refinette. That’s the company I’m going to work with this summer. And it sucks cause it doesn’t ring pleasantly in my ears. Like, I know I’m going for Manila. But could you at least not give me a company for cosmetics. I stared at my phone then at the computer screen, hoping that the word “Refinette” would turn into something like, “Unilab” or “GlaxoSmithKline”, but no. It’s still fucking Refinette. i dashed into my room and threw my back against my bed which gave a silent cry “eenngggk”.
Then out of nowhere, somewhere within the period of my tantrums, Shan texted me.
Good news, I’m falling more in love with u every minute of every day. I’ve been thinking nonstop abt u, I’ve been missing u like I miss leche flan.
I laughed. Of course, she does love leche flan! Like, she’s obsessed with it. **Oh god, I think I’m crying right now. I. just. Miss. Her. Badly. This is torture but I had to keep writing this fail novel**
Another text arrived. It reads:
A life without u, even an immortal life, would be empty.
This time I am close to squealing. I held my pillow against my face, but I had to take it off eventually so that I could reply to her. I said:
Baby, I love you J Thank you so much, you ease me.
After a minute, she replied:
Of course! I’m the only one who could have fights with you, the one who could send you this kind of texts, make you cry..everything.
I told her:
And I too have been thinking lately of how much you get better each day. I’m proud of you, baby. I’m blessed to have you.
Shan replied:
I’m more blessed cause you’re there for me whenever I feel like venting out my feelings. Haha. You’ll be fine in school :*
Well, I really turned out fine. Even better. The pile of books and photocopies of my notes crowded my study table, but I am confident that I could make it through tomorrow and for the rest of my academic year. I have God, my family, friends, and Shan. And yeah, my red concert ticket. I am more happy. More than happy. I gave the glossy page, printed with words that are too small to read, another glance. I looked up to meet my vain reflection which is now completely blissful.
I switched off my table lamp, then closed my eyes. I don’t know how to start my prayer, but I finally found my words.
“Dear God, thank you for giving me Shan.”
