Dear heart, why him? (#WATTYS2018)

Chapter 6

Since the walk home with Zack, I can't seem to get what he said out of my head. Does he know the girl who took her own life more then he's letting on? If so why hide that from me? Unless its hard for him to talk about. Another thing is why is he acting like there's more to her suicide? Surely if someone had pushed her towards that state of mind the school would have done something, right? Maybe I'm just overthinking but what if I'm not? What if the same thing that happened to Allison happened to her? Before I even realize what I'm doing I facebook stalk Zack's page, I need to know how close they truly were.

Its been about 4hours and the girl is connected to a lot of people at my new school. Her and Zack were stupidly close, I think he might have even had feelings for her. She was also close to Jessica and her group of friends. Including Justin, from the pictures and old posts, I think her and Justin might have dated. But if that's true why does Justin not look affected? I would say the same for Jess but Jess doesn't give a crap about anyone but herself. What am I missing?

I end up on her Instagram page and I've got to be honest she was truly beautiful, that picture they have of her at school doesn't give her justest. Her hair was so beautiful, Long wavy and the loveliest color of red. Her eyes are so green, so bright and full of life. She had so many pictures of her smiling and laughing with friends and family. She had a few with Zack and a few more with jess and her group of friends, but the main picture that caught my eye was the one of her and Justin. They look happy. He's smiling at the camera but she's focused on him, he had his arm around her shoulder and if I wasn't mistaken I would say they were a couple. I'm totally utterly terrified of finding out the truth about these people I've met.

Deciding to stop stalking this poor girl who is no longer with us, I log back on facebook and just nose through my old friends post from back home. I haven't really spoken to anyone from back home since Alison took her own life and the people behind it got named and shamed. I was thinking about making a new account but running away from the past won't change what happened. So I didn't bother. slowly scanning through pointless status and pictures the friends request light up with a 1 next to it. clicking on it to figure out who has decided to friend me. "Oh my god" No this can't be right surely? Hovering over the accept bottom I decide if its a good idea to accepted or not because I know if I do I'm most likely going to have another run in with queen bitch. "Oh fuck it" Clicking accept I sit frozen not knowing what I expected to happen after accepting. did I expect a message straight away? or big congratulations to pop up on my screen? Before I can freak out any more my panic attack is stopped by a message popping up on my screen, a message from him, Justin... Fuck! Oh fudging fudge balls! I think I might actually die this time.

With shaky hands, I move the mouse over to the message and click it.

-Justin Thomas- Hey, Nora hope you don't mind the add.

Nora calm down! He's just a boy, that's it. Take a deep breath and reply... That's exactly what I do after freaking out for a good 5 minutes. Jesus if Alison was here she would be laughing at me.

-Nora Forbes- Hey Justin, no I don't mind at all.

Deep breaths Nora, In and out.

-Justin Thomas- Well that's good, didn't really get to speak to you much today.

That would be because I'm trying to avoid ya ass...

-Nora Forbes- Yeah I know, what can I say I'm a busy girl"

-Justin Thomas- Well, could you be less busy for me?

-Nora Forbes- No promises I'm afraid

-Justin Thomas- Fair, I've got a question

He, has a question? What could he possibly have to bloody ask?