Dear heart, why him? (#WATTYS2018)

Chapter 3

2:30 am the same bloody time.
The same bloody nightmare.
The same bloody routine.

It's my first day at my new high school and even though I've met a few people and made friends it still doesn't change how I feel.

Alison should be here with me, we should be getting ready for school together. But she's not and she never will be.

My first day and my mum isn't here. What did I expect? 

When Alison decided to take her life she didn't realise how many lives she took with her. She's taken our parents, she took mine and I'm not sure if I'll ever be the same again. So I'm going to do what I do best, I'm going to put my brave face on and face my first-day head on and try to be normal! But that all changed when I walked into that school and saw what I saw.

Posters, lots and lots of posters saying the same thing and then I see the reason for these posters and I froze.

 In front of me was a memorial for a girl my age. She was beautiful and by the flowers and effort put into this memorial, she was loved as well. As I looked at her picture her hair changed from red to blonde, her eyes changed from green to blue. 

Until it was Alison I was seeing. 

Blood.

So much blood in her bathroom.

My mum's terrifying screams

 My dad's loud voice screaming down the phone for the ambulance to hurry.

She was so pale, her eyes were shut tight, her wrists sliced.

"Nora! Hey! Hellooo?"
I was snapped out of my thoughts by Jessica waving her hand in front of my face. "Nora are you alright? You kinda spaced out for a good minute"  turning to face her I smile "Yeah sorry I was just" I point my hand towards the memorial. 

Jessica sighs "Yeah it's sad, she was a great girl." 

 I want to ask more about her but by the look on Jessica's face, it isn't a good idea.

So I don't.

 I put my arm through hers and ask her to show me to my first class, which funnily enough turns out to be hers as well.

 As we approach our first class I notice a few faces from last night. One in particular stands out, I mean how I could I forget that face, that smile. He smiles at me, the kind of smile that looks like trouble and I should be avoiding this troublemaker in front of me but something keeps reminding me of this conversation Alison once had with me.

"Nora you have to live a little, get out and socialize a bit! Have some fun, flirt, go to parties! Show them all who Nora Forbes really is! Don't keep running from things because you get that bad vibe!"

Part of me wants to take my sister's advice but look where that got her. So I smile and walk straight into class and I decided that it best to stay clear of Justin and the rest of his friends.

When the class is full and the teacher arrives I realize that I'm the new kid and we all know what that means. 

"So class we have a new student with us today! She came all the way from England, Nora would you like to stand up and introduce yourself?"

No, I really don't but I guess I'm going to have to. With a deep breath, I stand and walk to the front of the class, all eyes are on me and I feel like I'm going to faint.

"Hi I'm Nora and I'm the new kid" 

Did I really just label myself as the new kid!? Openly labeled me! Good god someone, slap me! 

"Nora tell us a bit about yourself, what made your family move here?"

Oh you know my sister killed herself because she was bullied by her so-called friends which then resulted in my parents getting a divorce.

 My mum dragged me here, while she does her best to forget about me.

 But I don't say that even though I want to because it sucks having to hide how I truly feel.

"I moved here with my mum because she got offered a good paying job"

 It looks like I have bored everyone with my little introduction. So as I go to go back to my seat someone decided to speak up.

"Nora I'm Justin, but you already knew that" 

Son of a bitch! Why? Why-why-why did he have to speak up and get everyone's attention?

 No, I'm not letting him get this and make everyone think something is happening when it's clearly not! 

"Justin? Erm no sorry I think you might have me confused with someone else"

Tilting his head to the side, he smirks why the rest of the class is watching us.

 I mean we don't know each other, we saw each other at a party which may I add we didn't even speak to each other! 

See I knew my instincts were right! Always go with your gut, this boy is trouble! The trouble I don't need.

I settle back down into my seat and take a deep breath. I can feel his eyes on me and it taking everything in me not to turn around and make eye contact. 

"See you've made some friends already"

 I turn to face the person speaking to me and I've got to admit he's cute. I'm not getting any bad vibes from this dude which is a good thing right? 

"Wouldn't say he's a friend. That was the first time I've spoken to him" the boy gives me a funny look. 

"Really? Doesn't seem like that. But a bit of advice pick better friends to involve yourself with." 

Well, I think it's safe to say that my gut instincts were correct.