Equals ft. Logan Paul

Eight

Halfway through the stairway I catch my breath, my back leaning against the cold concrete wall. My hands go through my hair. What the actual fuck is wrong with you Brooke, you're such an idiot.

I realize that I don't really want to be alone right now. Okay to whom can I turn?

The Uber I ordered stops in front of my building, I get in, still in my gym clothes. I should probably call her.

I dial Alissa's phone number, nothing.

Again. This time she anwsers. "Brooke are you okay?" a tired Alissa asks.

"Can I come over?" My voice sounds shaky.

"Of course." I sigh with gratitude.

I lean my head against the window staring into the light filled La night, hoping my uber driver doesn't try to make conversation.

The car pulls up to Clout house. I ring the doorbell downstairs as I hear someone rapidly head to the door. It swings open and there Alissa appears while Ricky is standing behind her. She immediately takes me into her arms. "Do you want some tea?" Her expression is concerned.

I nod. "Ricky, baby. Can you please make us some tea?"

"What's up? You look kinda upset. Did someone die? Nooo honey who died?" I shake my head,

"No one died Alissa-"

She sighs, "Thank god, I wouldn't have known what to say."

We get to the big kitchen and I take a seat at one of the white stools, Alissa joins me. She puls her pajama covered legs up to her chest and looks at me, full of question.

"-We kissed. Logan and I kissed, at the gym. Just now." I get straight to the point and put my hands in front of my face. Alissa gasps.

"Brooke Ray and Logan Paul had a nightly make out session at the gym... Wow." Ricky says while handing us the steaming mugs.

"Thanks Ricky, but yeah." Alissa looks down and then starts laughing.

I can't help but laugh with her. I hit her playfully in her side, "Stop it! It's not funny."

"So did you just... kiss?" Ricky asks leaning over the bar.

"Yeah we just kissed, a janitor came in before anything happened and I ran off." I chuckle, the hole thing is actually kinda funny.

"I don't wanna say I told you so but... I told you so." I chuckle she's right, he wanted to smash and I kinda wanted to smash him too.

We talk about the hole situation for a while and agree I should try to keep my distance from him and definitely not have sex with him.

When Ricky goes back to bed Alissa and I talk about the history Logan and her have. "We are still friends but after the whole diss track drama we can't really be seen out together anymore."

I hear it makes her upset, but maybe it's for the best. Ricky and her are in a good place, you wouldn't want to ruin that. Logan and Alissa kissed a few times when she went to his apartment to escape Jake and the parade of girls he brought home. Jake found out and blamed her for cheating on him when in reality he was the one cheating, night after night.

"Ricky hates that we have a history so we don't hang out anymore, but we're still friends." Alissa explains.

"Can't blame him really. He loves you."

"I know." She smiles with joy.

"Anyway, he's a good guy but he is also cocky and selfish, he loves the camera and the attention which sometimes makes him forget what's really important in life..." We round up our conversation as Alissa shows me to a guest room. I take a shower and borrow a random t-shirt from the almost empty closet. After a matter of minutes I fall asleep. 

The next day I say goodbye to Ricky and Alissa and make my way home. It kinda looks like I'm walking the 'walk of shame' with my mismatched outfit and messy hair but I don't care. My mood has brightened up a bit, it's not that big of a deal, right? It was just a kiss, a very very good one at that, but- Okay enough Brooke. Just forget about him.

And that's exactly what I try to do.

Two months later.

I wake up with a nervous feeling in my stomach. Okay let's make a shake for some energy,  before a short morning workout at the gym.  Spinach, berries, seeds and a banana. Then a 30 minute treadmill, some abbs and butt.

  When I'm back in my apartment I take a shower and put some fresh clothes on before really starting the day.

(The outfit.)

Then it's time to start the vlog. "Hello everyone, HOW YAAA DOING? so this is what I'm eating right now." I point the camera at the post-workout meal; greek yogurt with berries and granola. "Okay, let's do a little outfit of the day then. Red blazer by Zara, gold Cartier hoops, Gucci sweatshirt, these patent trousers by Rick Owens and my black Zara booties. I make a little dancing montage and eat my breakfast. 

From Josh 

Have you started vlogging yet? I'm there in 20 minutes and don't forget to pack the black lingerie  and runway heels!

To Josh

Already done! See you in a sec. X

From Josh

Thasss ma girl! conquering this world one step at a time. 

I smile at my phone, I'm so excited and so nervous at the same time. This casting is so important and I've worked incredibly hard to get here.