Worlds Collide [The Man In The High Castle]

12

I was at the house when I saw the broadcast, an international scandal. The American resistance had made it public knowledge that Hitler was dead, a secret the Reich had been trying to keep. It had been a few days since he'd passed, it was surprising they'd kept it quiet this long. He'd slipped away during the night, with us all watching as if it were some kind of riveting television program.

With each passing day, I felt more and more like my mother. I didn't know how she played the part so well. I hated it. The overwhelming pressure to be the perfect Nazi woman. I'd never had that weight on my shoulders before. In New York I could get away with almost anything, but here my life depended on it. Even on assignment, it was just a game. And I'd quickly realized, perfection was boring, if I really wanted to weasel into someone's life I had to be different. I was good at that. But this required the upmost care, I had to maintain trust if I wanted to get through this in one piece.

Martin and Joe were at the Chancellery today, just like most days. I should have been with them, but I'd made lunch plans with Nicole and her friends. Mostly as an excuse to spend the morning at home. Though I was also looking forward for a moment of air around people who wouldn't judge me for being less than perfect.

She was supposed to pick me up in less than an hour, but I had things do to first. I started to head downstairs, but stopped at the phone on my bedside table. I hadn't spoken to my father in ages. He was probably getting hell for letting the resistance pull shit like this. It wouldn't hurt to check in. I wasn't near as angry as I had been when I left New York, distancing myself from him had given me new perspective. I dialed his office number, but the phone rang and rang. With a frown I tried the house phone, same thing.

I went downstairs, annoyed. "Silvia?" I called. No response, she must have gone out for groceries. I slipped down the hall toward Martin's home office without a second thought. The door was locked, but it was easy enough to pick. I grabbed his phone, checking inside the receiver for a tap, and then tucking it under my ear, leaving my hands free for searching.

"Obergruppenführer Smith's office, how may I help you?" Elisabeth answered. I frowned again, it appeared the whole line wasn't down, only the phone in my room. Interesting.

"It's Charlotte, is my father in yet?" I asked, knowing it was still rather early in New York. With the phone still tucked under my ear I started going through drawers and cabinets.

"Oh, Ms. Smith, great to hear from you. No, he isn't in yet," she informed me. "He left early yesterday, I'm not sure he'll be in today. Do you want to leave a message?"

I thought for a moment, wondering what I could say over the phone that wouldn't give too much away. "Just tell him I called, would you?" I had a feeling he'd understand. My fingers landed on a file, sliding it out and sticking it under my arm. "Thank you, Elisabeth. Have a nice day." I hung up and perched on the desk, flipping through the folder.

I hoped that I was wrong about this. I wanted to believe Martin was a good person, a man only doing his duty to the Reich, same as John. I wanted that for Joe, he deserved to have a good man for a father. As good of a man as one could be in this world.

But I knew better than to let skeletons in closets go undiscovered. If we were to survive in a place like this, we had to look out for ourselves before anyone else.

OoOoO

The guards outside the Chancellor's office allowed me to pass, vacating the room and leaving me alone with Joe. He glanced up with a smile that attempted to disguise his worried expression. "I thought you weren't coming in today."

"I heard about the broadcast," I told him. "I figured I ought to be here for moral support."

He nodded, walking around the table to wrap me in his arms. The tension in my shoulders melted away as soon has he touched me. I let us pretend for a moment that everything was right in the world, even though we both knew it was a lie.